If you are the parent of a teen, you know how much of a struggle it can be to involve them in family activities. Convincing them to get dressed for an outing can feel like talking to a wall. This can be frustrating for parents, as family quality time is important. As a teenager myself, though I am rapidly approaching the dreaded 2-0, I understand why teenagers feel so unmotivated to participate in family time and how parents can improve their family dynamic to fix this issue.
Why do Teens not want to participate?
Adolescence is a critical stage in a person’s life. In the years after puberty, children go through many mental and physical changes. They grow up and find new hobbies. Their personalities change. Some activities they may have enjoyed when they were younger may be less appealing to them now. To a parent, it seems like their child is distancing themselves from them, which is stressful.
Teenagers do not want to be treated like kids. They are growing up, after all. And while the charade of “I know what I’m doing, I’m 15, so basically an adult” seems foolish, it is best to give them a say in what the family does. Instead of spontaneously revealing a weekend camping trip the night before, ask your teenager what they want to do. If you have something in mind already, suggest it and ask for their thoughts. This does not only apply to trips and outings, but to general things in the family as well. For example, asking them what they would like for dinner.
So, why should you involve your teenager in family decisions?
1. It Teaches Responsibility
Of course, some decisions should be left exclusively up to the parents. However, making an effort to give your teen a seat at the table will teach them responsibility and prepare them for adulthood.
2. Teens will feel appreciated
When you consider your teenager’s feelings when planning a family activity, they will feel appreciated and glad that their opinions are being taken seriously. They do not want to be treated like kids, after all.
3. It Improves Parent-Child Communication
Sometimes your teenager may feel like you do not understand them when they give suggestions or voice their thoughts. Acknowledging their feelings and suggestions will make them feel heard and improve your relationship with them. They will feel more open to talking about their interests because they know that you will respect them.
4. It Strengthens Family Bonds
Involving teens in family decisions is not only a benefit to them, but improves the overall relationship within the family. Parents will have a better look into what their child does and enjoys while also having that healthy quality time that they need.
Involving teens in family decisions is a strategy that can better the development of your child during their teenage years while also opening the door for meaningful quality time with the family. When parents push their children to participate in activities they do not like, it creates a divide between the parent and child. But when parents let their teens contribute their thoughts, ideas, and preferences, they are creating an environment of mutual respect and shared responsibility. This not only teaches teens responsibility, but it also helps them feel seen and valued during a stage of life that can often be isolating or confusing. Rather than creating distance, involving teens draws them closer to their families, helping to build trust and emotional connection that can carry through the most challenging years.
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