A 12-step guide to fight pornography addiction

Pornography consumption is not something that can easily be stopped. Once the appetite for it has developed, it actually increases.

In his 1988 study Pornography Effects: Empirical and Clinical Evidence, Victor Cline, then with the University of Utah's Department of Psychology noted that studies show pornography is progressive and addictive for many. It often leads to the user acting out his fantasy - often on children.

For those who have been trained from a young age to lower their gaze and practice Islamic principles of modesty, this may not even be an issue.

But for those who have sadly fallen into pornography addiction, there is a way out.

Alcoholics' Anonymous is an organization that has fought the battle against alcohol addiction since 1935. Its "Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous" provides a clear, general guide on how to get out of the addiction of alcohol, which has killed people, ruined families and led to health problems.

Sound Vision has adapted the 12 steps from this guide to offer some guidance on how those addicted to pornography can get out of it.

Step One-Admit that you can't give up

Admit that you are unable to get a grip on your consumption of pornography. It is uncontrollable. Every time you turn on the internet, go to the video store, turn on the television, you cannot say NO to yourself. You cannot NOT surf porn sites, or stop watching. You are no longer in control of your life.

Step Two-Admit only God can get you out of this

You know, after trying using so many different ways to control your addiction and subsequently failing, that only Allah can help you out of this. You may have known it before, but you are convinced of it now without a shadow of a doubt.

Step Three-Your life and death are all in Allah's control

You have decided to put your complete trust in Allah, who is in control of all aspects of your life and your death. You have chosen to seek His Help first and foremost.

Step Four-You have completed a self-analysis

You have done an honest, sincere, but often painful self-evaluation of your good points and bad points, analyzed your addiction, and tried to understand how you reached this point.

Step Five-Made a specific repentance to Allah

You have admitted to Allah, to yourself, and to another trusted Muslim (if possible) exactly where you went wrong. You did not make a general request for repentance. You specifically listed your mistakes, and in particular, your addiction to pornography.

Step Six-You were open and ready to receive Allah's help to change

You know that your Tawbah (repentence to God) and being sincere, must be followed by action. You are ready to do what is necessary to change, no matter how difficult or painful. Even if it means not even watching television for the news or never surfing the internet alone.

Step Seven- You have asked for the removal of faults

You have asked Allah, with sincerity, humility and regret, to help you never repeat this action (i.e. looking at pornography) again and to help you avoid repeating sins committed in the past again.

Step Eight-You have decided to seek others' forgiveness

You have made a list of everyone you had hurt through your addiction, whether it was your spouse, children or parents, and made the intention to approach them seeking forgiveness. You must not, however, disclose your addiction since whatever Allah has kept hidden must remain hidden. You just seek forgiveness for any possible act of harm and hurt. Allah does not like a sin to be advertised.

Step Nine-Seek forgiveness of God

Seek the forgiveness and protection of Allah. Do sadaqah (charity) and fast as kaffarah if possible.

Step Ten-You have completed nightly self-evaluations

You continually, every night, have done an honest self-evaluation of your behavior, and were ready to admit your mistakes and thank Allah for the good you did that day.

Step Eleven-You have prayed for greater God-consciousness

You prayed and continue to pray five times a day, seeking closeness to Allah, and a consciousness of Him (Taqwa) wherever you are. You increase your reliance on Him to help you with this addiction to pornography and with all other matters in your life.

Step Twelve-You preached and practiced

You have not just "moved on" after Allah blessed you to get out of this addiction. You helped others you knew with this problem with regular contact and  sincere advice. By the grace of Allah, helping others helped you maintain control over your addiction and you helped another person get out of this destruction and misery.

Comments

You need to learn that Allah is the one that can help you. Repent to hin and inshallah everything will be ok

Location

Bradford

There's a way of getting out from pornography insya'allah:
Remember Allah is watching us and angel raqib & atid are always recording what we do. Try to touch a lighted up candle and keep in mind that hellfire is way hotter. Everytime we are tempted to watch porn, go take wudzu and read the meaning of the Qur'an instead. Come to islamic learning sessions in the mosque even if you just sit and listen. Go to the mosque for 5x shalat. Sunnah fasting monday & thursday. Pray dhuha & tahajud. Wow so much task to be done! Yes, to make sure we have no spare time at all which can lead us to doing foolishness.

Location

Indonesia

Assalamu'alaykum.
I can't believe, I'm at it again. I've stopped it for several months. I didn't even want to think about it. It was soo easy to avoid it. But then training was over and university was back. Most of my days are now spent at home. I usually wake up at noon. lose some time on YouTube until 4pm, i go to my classes and come back home at six and after Esha Swalaat, i watch some movies. Then about midnight, i decide to go to sleep. I take my phone and start looking at random pics on social medias, i start looking for Girls pictures until they are haraam enough to make me get the courage to open the incognito tab and start searching for such stupidity. And each time i look for something more stupid than the previous ones . I hate to admit it but i reject guidance from Allah at those particular moments plenty of times. How dare i be like that. In the weekend i even go to help some brothers to give Quran and islamic courses to kids in my locality. If those kids only knew how filthy i am. Ya Rabb, I'm soo ashamed of myself.

Don't give up. Just because you have relapsed once it does not change how hard you have worked to stay away from it in the past. 1.) DO NOT bring your phone when you go to bed. If you need it as an alarm clock, go buy digital alram clock. Leave your phone in the kitchen, office or family room. 2.) STOP surfing the web!! I know exactly how you feel. Ive had the same issue. I would be clean for a week or two and while I'm on twitter or tumblr I think I'm strong enough to look at pictures. But after the first few times I end up giving in. The first time I was on twitter I didn't do anything. But then the next day, I did the same thing because I thought I was strong enough... and I ended up doing something I regretted. Don't give shaytan the opportunity. Close the door to it right away. 3.) If you have trouble with porn during the daytime, don't be home alone. Make yourself busy. Go to the gym, go study, or go hang out with friends. 4.) Don't keep watching/looking at things online because You feel like you already failed. Or that you might as well keep going because whats one more video. DON'T DO THAT and DONT THINK LIKE THAT! That's what will hurt you the most. When a person failed one exam, they don't fail the rest of the class because they did bad on one exam. They work harder. They don't want that one bad grade to determine their final grade. Same thing goes for the struggle of staying away from porn. We work hard to stay away, we ask Allah to help us with this test that he has given us. We can't throw it all away just because you watch a video or looked at a picture. Take that horrible feeling you have and repent to Allah. You failed one test, now it's your chance to show Allah that you want to fight it and work even harder to show that you can pass this life. And just because you failed one test you won't fail another. 5.) Go to someone and ask for help. Go to a sheikh if no one else knows about your addiction. A sheikh you know you can trust. That is what I did. I text him before I do anything stupid. 6.) Try to make a checklist of things to do everyday to keep you busy. 7.) At the end of each day reflect on what you did. Renew your intentions every morning. 8.) At LEAST Once a week , talk to Allah as so make duaa

I am a very young person below 15 and I watch porn and am a Muslim. I feel bad about it. I lose it for maybe 7 months then it comes again. This is my biggest problem. It is the thing that makes me hate myself. I want help but I'm too scared too tell anyone. I restrict my things then unrestricted them. I try too pray and I do. If only I could lose this habit and have a pure mind. Astugfirullah.

Location

Canada

Then it happens again I'm really trying to stop help me

Location

Merced

Brother i can help you i have the same problem and people with the same problem are helping me if you want to get in touch here is my skype: muhammadusman002

Location

United Kingdom

JKH,May Allah help All Bro and sister . to get out from such a bad habit i also suggest 1.select friend who have strong eman. 2.Make Daewa every month or 2/3 month which is really a sepecial wepon that help me to get out fro such bad habit.

Location

Eth

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