A 12-step guide to fight pornography addiction

Pornography consumption is not something that can easily be stopped. Once the appetite for it has developed, it actually increases.

In his 1988 study Pornography Effects: Empirical and Clinical Evidence, Victor Cline, then with the University of Utah's Department of Psychology noted that studies show pornography is progressive and addictive for many. It often leads to the user acting out his fantasy - often on children.

For those who have been trained from a young age to lower their gaze and practice Islamic principles of modesty, this may not even be an issue.

But for those who have sadly fallen into pornography addiction, there is a way out.

Alcoholics' Anonymous is an organization that has fought the battle against alcohol addiction since 1935. Its "Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous" provides a clear, general guide on how to get out of the addiction of alcohol, which has killed people, ruined families and led to health problems.

Sound Vision has adapted the 12 steps from this guide to offer some guidance on how those addicted to pornography can get out of it.

Step One-Admit that you can't give up

Admit that you are unable to get a grip on your consumption of pornography. It is uncontrollable. Every time you turn on the internet, go to the video store, turn on the television, you cannot say NO to yourself. You cannot NOT surf porn sites, or stop watching. You are no longer in control of your life.

Step Two-Admit only God can get you out of this

You know, after trying using so many different ways to control your addiction and subsequently failing, that only Allah can help you out of this. You may have known it before, but you are convinced of it now without a shadow of a doubt.

Step Three-Your life and death are all in Allah's control

You have decided to put your complete trust in Allah, who is in control of all aspects of your life and your death. You have chosen to seek His Help first and foremost.

Step Four-You have completed a self-analysis

You have done an honest, sincere, but often painful self-evaluation of your good points and bad points, analyzed your addiction, and tried to understand how you reached this point.

Step Five-Made a specific repentance to Allah

You have admitted to Allah, to yourself, and to another trusted Muslim (if possible) exactly where you went wrong. You did not make a general request for repentance. You specifically listed your mistakes, and in particular, your addiction to pornography.

Step Six-You were open and ready to receive Allah's help to change

You know that your Tawbah (repentence to God) and being sincere, must be followed by action. You are ready to do what is necessary to change, no matter how difficult or painful. Even if it means not even watching television for the news or never surfing the internet alone.

Step Seven- You have asked for the removal of faults

You have asked Allah, with sincerity, humility and regret, to help you never repeat this action (i.e. looking at pornography) again and to help you avoid repeating sins committed in the past again.

Step Eight-You have decided to seek others' forgiveness

You have made a list of everyone you had hurt through your addiction, whether it was your spouse, children or parents, and made the intention to approach them seeking forgiveness. You must not, however, disclose your addiction since whatever Allah has kept hidden must remain hidden. You just seek forgiveness for any possible act of harm and hurt. Allah does not like a sin to be advertised.

Step Nine-Seek forgiveness of God

Seek the forgiveness and protection of Allah. Do sadaqah (charity) and fast as kaffarah if possible.

Step Ten-You have completed nightly self-evaluations

You continually, every night, have done an honest self-evaluation of your behavior, and were ready to admit your mistakes and thank Allah for the good you did that day.

Step Eleven-You have prayed for greater God-consciousness

You prayed and continue to pray five times a day, seeking closeness to Allah, and a consciousness of Him (Taqwa) wherever you are. You increase your reliance on Him to help you with this addiction to pornography and with all other matters in your life.

Step Twelve-You preached and practiced

You have not just "moved on" after Allah blessed you to get out of this addiction. You helped others you knew with this problem with regular contact and  sincere advice. By the grace of Allah, helping others helped you maintain control over your addiction and you helped another person get out of this destruction and misery.

Comments

Good advice for Christians, as well. In America, the porn industry is dominated by the children of Satan. You know who they are. God bless you in your work.

Location

Los Angles

It didn't mentioned physical exercise, it is a must and low eating is also must...

Location

delhi

A great article the main thing beneficial in my thought is relegious company ang avoiding bad friends

Location

faisalabad

Bismallahir RahmanirRaheemAssalam Alaikum brothers and sisters in Islam. This message is for brother human being. Thank you so much my brother Jazakullah Khair. I downloaded that porn filter and Mashallah all pornographic websites have BEEN BLOCKED on my computer and i already forgot my password =). Thank you so much brother. I've been looking for a porno filter for a long time to help me give up this disgusting habit. I'm so glad I found this software. This is for my own good and Inshallah i will PERMANENTLY give up this disgusting habit of watching porno Astaghfirullah !!! Thank you brother and MAY ALLAH (swt) bless you !!!

Location

San jose

Assalamu alakum brothers and sisters. Alhumdillah it is good too see so many people who want to change. May Allah forgive us all. Here are some tips that will definitely help:1) Go to this website------ http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ ----and download the software for your computer. It will block all pornographic and adult sites from your computer.It will ask you to create a password. But here is the trick. You need to put in gibberish that you won't remember. Therefore the settings will stick and you will never be able to unlock the adult/pornographic sites. If you want to uninstall the software, you have to put in your password. But your password was gibberish and you can't remember it, so can't uninstall it. Why would you want to uninstall something that is doing you good. The software acts in the background so you never know its there. It only comes up when you try to go into the bad sites. Install on every computer in your house. This is how Allah has helped me fight my urges. Alhumdillah my duas were answered. 2) Remove all peer-to-peer file sharing sites. Also any torrent software you have. This will help you quit listening to music and wasting your time with movies as well.3) Make dua that Allah will forgive your sins for not lowering your gaze and continue to help you with your problem. Alhumdillah you have seen your faults and we can fix our mistakes while we are still alive.“Say: O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Sûrah al-Zumar: 53]“Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful,” [Sûrah al-Furqân: 70] Sincerely, Your Brother in Islam

Location

Vancouver

Assalamu alakum brothers and sisters. Alhumdillah it is good too see so many people who want to change. May Allah forgive us all. Here are some tips that will definitely help:1) Go to this website------ http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ ----and download the software for your computer. It will block all pornographic and adult sites from your computer.It will ask you to create a password. But here is the trick. You need to put in gibberish that you won't remember. Therefore the settings will stick and you will never be able to unlock the adult/pornographic sites. If you want to uninstall the software, you have to put in your password. But your password was gibberish and you can't remember it, so can't uninstall it. Why would you want to uninstall something that is doing you good. The software acts in the background so you never know its there. It only comes up when you try to go into the bad sites. Install on every computer in your house. This is how Allah has helped me fight my urges. Alhumdillah my duas were answered. 2) Remove all peer-to-peer file sharing sites. Also any torrent software you have. This will help you quit listening to music and wasting your time with movies as well.3) Make dua that Allah will forgive your sins for not lowering your gaze and continue to help you with your problem. Alhumdillah you have seen your faults and we can fix our mistakes while we are still alive.“Say: O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Sûrah al-Zumar: 53]“Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful,” [Your Brother in Islam

Location

Vancouver

Practical advice for practical change: 1. have a dua on the top of your computer: allahuma innee aoothubika minal kubthi wal kabaaith - (God i seek protection from both male and female unclean spirits). Have the habit of making this dua before logging onto your computer every time. (just like when you enter the bathroom) - become habitual in this practice and you will find protection. Remember the saying, "guard your thoughts for they become your words (spoken or typed), guard your words as they become your actions, guard your actions as they become your habits, guard your habits as they dictate your character, guard your character as it will become your destiny." Next, do not keep a computer/ iphone/ or other electronic device that can access haram in places of privacy... i.e. bathrooms/ bedrooms/ etc. Remember what we do in private we assuredly would avoid in public. Next, make a commitment to yourself.. each time that you fall away from the path ... in terms of looking at something inappropriate on line.... make the vow that you will do something ... i.e. fast the next day. interestingly when muslims are fasting they will seldom break fast for something like looking at inappropriate matter on line. Next, realize that this is a problem faced by many people.. including myself.. dont feel alone.. you are in a struggle that is being faced by everyone who has an XandY chromosome. Remember the life of good character is worth more than the satisfaction of the eyes.. If you are not married... fast / fast /fast and keep busy with sports/ exercise/ and other halal pursuits/... spending time with muslim or christian friends/ etc. Don't be afraid to call for help.. ie. call a friend of the same sex.. don't discuss your particular problem as.. haram should remain hidden. Meet them for coffee ... tennis/ whatever distracts you from the haram. Talk to your spouse, and explain the importance of making regular time for intimate time. If your wife is overweight and it turns you off... talk to her honestly that it would make you happy for her to loose weight... start exercising together.. Also, remember appetites are like cousins to one another.. appetite for food is similar for cigarettes, sex, etc... they all stimulate similar receptors in the brain.. if you have difficulty with one appetite then by controlling another one you may find greater ease in fighting an addiction. Bottomline, put up a wall of habits that will eliminate the problem.. i.e. dua's when you go on line, keeping the computer out of private areas, exercise, appetite control (1/3,1/3,1/3) on a regular basis.. then make dua for the others out there who suffer this same ailment.. remember that we can fight and beat this problem.. Transparency to your own heart is the key..This problem is much more pervasive than any of you think... this is one of our greatest struggles, as it requires watchfulness while in privacy... If u fall of the track get back on it.. Don't fear, God hears you.. and has prescribed something for your ailment. Ramadan is closeby and its shelter will help you sustain decency not just during the month but inshallah for the rest of the year. "Do not loose heart or fall into despair for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith.." AlQuran

Location

san francisco

There are few things we can learn more when we study about Islam and its ideology. First of all Allah really forbids you committing the sin from the start no matter how small. As the small sins are really the steps of satan and would lead to the bigger sins. I remember a good friend of mine who was really a good muslim. He met a girl and started talking to her on the phone. I tried to stop him but he said he just likes to talk. In next couple of weeks they started to meet in a cafe. I tried to tell him its not permitted in Islam. He said " I know but its just a tiny sin. I just meet her in the public and I dont even think if doing any sin with the girl."After a few weeks they started to kiss each other. when he told me this, I again told him not to do so and he replied "I know its a sin but I would not go further then this and Allah would forgive me as I think its not a big sin." After a while, One day I met him and started to cry and asked forgiveness from Allah. He revealed he has done something really "serious" with the girl in the privacy. So my friends. These are the steps of satan. He takes you to his path in just tiny steps when you wont follow him.Similarly when watching porn, you would just start by looking no nude women. Then semi nude women and then hardcore pornography, then worst masturbation and then even worse toward fornication. So why not stop this cycle on the first stage? I leave to you to find your first stage...

Location

Manchester

The 12 steps have helped so many! They are one of the best ways to incorporate honesty into our lives. POWERFUL!! Thanks!

Location

Salt Lake City

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