As a mother of three teenagers, I continue to learn about child development in real time, and surprisingly, just as much about myself. I observe their behavior patterns and often find myself reflecting on my own teenage years. I recall how convinced I was that I knew everything, yet I had no idea how the world really worked. My children mirror some of that confidence, yet they are growing up in a vastly different reality. They may not know it all, but they have far more exposure to vast amounts of data. Their early childhood unfolded in the digital age, and they are growing up surrounded by advanced technology. They were comfortable navigating computers, tablets, and smartphones long before I was as a teenager. The access they have to information is unprecedented; they can troubleshoot technology more quickly and with greater precision than many adults.
Yet, despite these advancements, teenagers today are more sheltered and infantilized than previous generations. We have drifted far from an era in which youth were trusted with responsibility, decision-making, and leadership. There was a time within our own family lines when young people were expected to step into adulthood. There was no such thing as an idle period between childhood and adulthood – what we call adolescence or the teenage years. In the Islamic tradition, we learn that with the onset of puberty, an individual is subject to the same rules that apply to adults. The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
"There are three (people) whose actions are not recorded by the Pen: a sleeping person till he awakes, a boy till he reaches puberty, and a person with an unsound mind till he regains his sanity.” (Sunan Abu Daoud, 4403)
The Age of Responsibility
Think about your grandparents and great-grandparents. At what age did they marry? What responsibilities did they shoulder in their teens? My own grandparents married and began raising children before they were twenty years old. My parents followed similar patterns, marrying in their late teens. Stories passed down in my family echo a common theme: young adulthood used to mean adulthood. Across cultures and throughout history, young men and women worked, contributed to their households, and even started families in their teen years. Global circumstances shaped this reality, with factors such as life expectancy, access to education, and economic need, but the defining characteristic was responsibility.
We find an even more powerful example in early Islamic history. During the lifetime of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, youngsters played a vital role in community life. The first young person to embrace Islam was the Prophet’s cousin, Ali ibn Abi Talib, who was only about twelve years old. Zayd ibn Harithah, one of the earliest believers, served the Prophet closely and made significant contributions to the growth of the Muslim community. His son, Usama ibn Zayd, grew up with the Prophet’s love, trust, and mentorship. He would become one of the youngest military commanders in Islamic history at an age when many today are only just learning to manage their homework and social lives between playing video games.
There is much to learn from the legacy of young leadership in Islam, but for the purposes of this article, we will focus on the life of Usama ibn Zayd, a teenager entrusted with leading seasoned companions, guiding armies, and making decisions that affected an entire nation. His story challenges us to rethink our expectations of young people and to trust that, with guidance, they can rise to real responsibility and leadership.
About Usama Ibn Zayd
1. His Family and Upbringing
Usama ibn Zayd was raised in a household of faith, loyalty, and service to Allah. His father, Zayd ibn Harithah, was one of the earliest Muslims and lived with the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, for many years. Zayd is the only companion mentioned by name in the Quran, in Surah Al Ahzab, 33:37. Usama’s mother was Umm Ayman (Barakah bint Thalabah). She was an Abyssinian woman who cared for the Prophet in his childhood after the passing of his mother. It has been noted that Usama was Black, and his life is a reminder that Muslims of African descent are part of the foundation of Islamic history and leadership.
2. Loved Deeply by the Prophet
The Prophet loved Usama and his father, Zayd, and prayed for them. He treated Usama like a grandson, and used to make dua for him and Hasan ibn Ali, saying:
“O Allah, love them, for I love them.”
(Sahih Bukhari 3735)
This affection and trust helped shape Usama’s confidence and sense of belonging, something parents and educators must take note of when dealing with children. Regardless of their age, the young people in our lives need to feel loved and encouraged. It is also important to continuously pray for their well-being and ask Allah to guide and love them.
3. A Narrator of Hadith and Student of Knowledge
Usama paid strong attention to the Prophet’s words and actions. He asked questions and sought understanding. Because of this, he became a narrator of hadith, preserving knowledge that Muslims continue to learn from today. Parents can learn from this example by being present in their child’s life and answering their many questions, no matter how insignificant they may seem.
4. A Young Leader with Real Responsibility
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, appointed Usama to lead a military expedition to the region of al-Sham. Usama was a teenager, and some companions questioned his age. The Prophet affirmed his decision and instructed them to follow him. After the Prophet’s passing, Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, honored the appointment and said:
“I will not remove a commander appointed by the Messenger of Allah!”
(Reported by Ibn Sa’d in Tabaqat)
Usama fulfilled his role with integrity and competence. Imagine if he had been removed from his position? What kind of person would he have become if the most important people and elders in his life had doubted him? These are lessons that those in positions of authority should ask themselves when dealing with the youth. Before reaching adulthood, Usama demonstrated maturity, responsibility, and leadership. His life shows that young people thrive when they are guided and entrusted with meaningful responsibility.
Usama ibn Zayd’s life is a powerful reminder that our children are capable of far more than society often expects from them. As parents and caregivers, we can introduce our children to the stories of young companions like Usama and help them see themselves as part of that legacy of courage, integrity, and faith. When our children reach maturity, we must begin treating them with the dignity of young adults. We can educate them, assign meaningful responsibilities in the home and community, encourage their independence, and believe in their potential. Most importantly, we can show them love, mercy, and patience as they learn and sometimes make mistakes. This is how we nurture young leaders who put their trust in Allah first, and who trust themselves enough to stand with strength and purpose. Their future begins with the expectations we set for them today.
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