God Consciousness in Teens Mitigates Peer Pressure

The autumn with all its beautiful colors and crispness in the air can also be a time of stress for many Muslim families.  During this time, harvest festivals and Halloween are prevalent in American society.  Harvest festivals have roots in pre-Christian agricultural religious beliefs and rituals and Halloween is rooted in Christianity as the eve before All Saints Day which commemorates Christian saints and martyrs.  Therefore, neither of these observances are compatible with Islam.   

Some Muslim parents have found that the younger members of their family are challenged with the appeal of dressing up like their favorite cartoon characters and receiving free candy, but the larger challenge may come from their teenage children.

Muslim families create alternatives ranging from ignoring, forbidding, evading, guiding or providing alternatives.  

However, far too many Muslim teens have convinced themselves that these fall observances are all harmless fun, especially if they don’t dress up like something evil or Islamize their costume.  The pressure from other teens makes Muslim teens seek ways to mitigate the ‘othering’ that exists when they don’t participate.

Parents can temper negative influences by cultivating God-Consciousness in their teens.

Guard the heart – make dhikr

• Teens can be reminded that remembrance of Allah – dhikr – changes their focus and offers spiritual peace.  The whispers that draw teens towards activities and even perceptions that cause an internal struggle are silenced with dhikr.  The take-away – remembering Allah keeps us from disliked things.

"Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured."

(Quran 13:28)

Teach the significance of an Islamic identity – stay true to self

• Muslim teens have grown up in a household where Islam is practiced.  Parents can teach children that this is no coincidence and there is a humble appreciation that comes with being Muslim.  It is Allah Who makes Muslims and that is not to be taken lightly or subjugated to have fun or friendship with others.  The take-away - sincerity of seeking the pleasure of Allah is the only worthy focus.

"Today I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion."

(Quran 5:3)

Cultivate resiliency – part of growing up involves struggle

• Muslim teens are a religious minority in America.  All minorities have their unique challenges of finding their place within the cultural whole and defining which parts of the whole are culturally consistent with their own.  The struggle of a Muslim teen is like Indigenous peoples resisting Columbus day and Thanksgiving because they are culturally repugnant celebrations of European colonization of their people.  The take-away – your struggle is nothing new and to be expected.

Anas ibn Malik reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "A time of patience will come to people in which adhering to one's religion is like grasping a hot coal."

(Sahih/Hasan) Jami` at-Tirmidhi (2260).

Enforce Boundaries – there are hidden influences where least expected

• The concerns of Muslim teens must be acknowledged and managed.  This involves parents willing to acknowledge the rights a believer has with another believer including giving advice.  The psychological well-being of teens is intertwined with actions and influences, especially the subtlety of the association between many American observances and Christianity.  
• The process of offering advice begins with listening to the concerns and perspectives of the believer and then referring to the Quran for guidance. Parents who have not experienced this peer pressure must be particularly attentive, while parents who grew up in America can share their own experiences, feelings and mitigative strategies.  The takeaway - regardless of the secularization of Halloween, it is still an observance rooted in Christianity.

 "Say, 'O People of the Scripture, do not exceed limits in your religion beyond the truth.

(Quran  5:77)

Remind that mindfulness starts with intention – if it feels off, then believe that inner voice

• Muslim teens that struggle with involving themselves with Halloween activities may have an internal struggle and believe that participation is harmless.  Halloween has become a holiday that glories dark forces, mean pranks, death, witchcraft, horror, fear and a negative preoccupation.  Movies, games and dress up activities are meant to desensitize and make fun of two serious matters: death and what comes after death.
• Teens can ask themselves if those themes really are harmless or do they create a state of kufr.  This state of disbelief comes from intentionally rejecting the reality of life and death, an arrogant reshaping of the unseen, doubting the nature of the universe and turning away from and making fun of evil things.
• When a Muslim teen honestly evaluates their true feelings about Halloween and are faced with confusion, uneasiness, guilt or over-explanation – these are signs that Allah has placed within the human being.  These feels come from the self-reproaching soul (an nafs al lawwamah) who is sensitive to right and wrong and feels remorse over error both in thought and deed.
• Muslim teens are old enough to be woke and morally aware of right and wrong and how much intention guides the human being.  The desire to be liked and included is natural, but the need to be obedient to the will of Allah is also natural.  The take-away – leave off participating in things that don’t feel right just to fit in.

You may dislike something although it is good for you, or like something, although it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know.

(Quran 3:102)
 

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Author bio: Mahasin D. Shamsid-Deen is the news curator and content manager for Muslim Network TV (MNTV) and contributing writer for Sound Vision.  She holds a master’s degree in English writing and has worked as both a High School and College ESL Instructor and Writing Instructor for more than a decade.  Mahasin has numerous published articles, books, essays and is a published playwright with three award winning stage plays.  She is currently writing her dissertation for her doctoral degree.