29 tips for teens on how to handle pornography

29 tips for teens on how to handle pornography

It's hard being a teenager and trying to resist the images you're bombarded with daily: the hot-looking guy or gal in the magazine; the sexual jokes in movies (even Shrek!) or the pervasive pornography and ad banners that pop up while you may simply be checking your e-mail or researching something for school. How do we protect ourselves from all of this? Below is a list of tips that can help. You can add in comments what works for you:

Tip #1: Know what's Halal and what's not

Remember this rule of thumb: whatever is Haram (forbidden) to do, is Haram to watch.

All scholars of Islam agree that pornography is absolutely Haram and a clear sin.

Some may think, however, that only hard-core pornography is Islamically unacceptable. This is not true. Watching improperly dressed men and women in sexual situations, as well as engaged in various types of foreplay and dirty jokes are also not acceptable.

If you need a more detailed argument against it, read our article based on the Quran and Hadith.

Tip #2: Surf the Web or Watch T.V. When Others are Around

The living room or study room are better places to keep the computer since others are nearby and can see what you're looking at. The temptation to sneak a look at dirty pictures or that bikini-clad babe is heightened when you're alone in your room watching television or surfing the internet. Try to avoid late night TV and surfing. Instead, check out the tube or the web when others are around so you can resist the urge to sneak a peek, thinking no one's watching.

It is a good idea not to have a TV or computer in the bedroom anyway.

Tip #3: Remember Allah is Watching You

If no one is watching, Allah is watching you. He is always there. He is Al Baseer, All Knowing and All Aware. He is the One Who has given us life. He is the One Who has told us right from wrong and given us a choice. He loves to see us successful in our test to bless us with the Everlasting life. He does not rest or sleep. He loves to see us do good and has promised rewards for it.

Tip #4: If It Happens, Seek Forgiveness & Don't Insist on doing it

"?[Good people are those who] when they have committed a shameful deed (fuhsha) or have harmed themselves, remember God and pray that their sins be forgiven-for who but God could forgive sins?-and do not knowingly persist in doing whatever wrong they may have done." (Quran 3:135).

Allah loves to see us asking for His forgiveness.

Tip #5: Just get up and leave

If you feel unable to control looking at the screen or the magazine, leave the situation. Get out of the living room, your bedroom where the internet is or where you've been reading the magazine. Take a walk. Just do something to physically get out of the situation.

Tip #6: Remember the Day of Judgment

You cannot assume looking at this stuff is no big deal. Your eyes will testify about what you looked at on the Day of Judgment. God is Most Just and Merciful, and He rewards us for the good and holds us responsible for the bad we do. His angels are around you who love to note down each good dead and hate to watch you do shameful things which they still must report. Every tiny act we do is noted down. May Allah make our accounting on the Day of Judgment easy.

Tip #7: Connect With Your Salat

If you are not praying, start now. Salat actively discourages pornography and fornication (fuhsha). Here is what Allah says about it: "? and be constant in prayer: for, behold, prayer restrains man from loathsome deeds and from all that runs counter to decency; and remembrance of God is indeed the greatest [good]. And God knows all that you do." (Quran 29:45)

If you are not satisfied with the quality of your prostration in prayer, work on it. If Salat is not helping you, work on uplifting your salat. ..Innas salata tanha anil fahsha wal munkar..

Tip #8: Learn About Haya in Islam

Haya is a beautiful concept in Islam. Sometimes translated as modesty or shame, there is no one word in English that fully describes what it means. It is a quality in character that makes a believer shine. Satan does not want you to have it. Pornography destroys Haya. Here's an article which helps explain this concept of Haya in Islam.

Tip #9: Avoid those involved in pornography

If one of your friends is into pornographic magazines, websites, dirty jokes etc. either help him/her change through gentle and sincere advice (see etiquettes of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil) or abandon frequent contact with them. Their addiction might affect you, so it's best to stay as far away as possible, by remembering the danger to yourself and your relationship with God.

Tip #10: Avoid things that lead to sin

Too often, it's easy to dismiss that billboard with the spandex-and-bikini-top-clad blonde girl advertising gum, or the guy in tight leather pants and no shirt advertising perfume. When you see it, remember the omnipresent God, and lower your gaze. Do the same for television and the internet. If you keep doing this, it'll become a habit to avoid looking at these things.

Remember God is kind. An unintentional look is not Haram if you turn away as soon as you realize it.

Tip #11: Develop a More Productive Schedule

Learn to manage your time more productively. Develop a personal plan for yourself. If you don't occupy your mind with good works, Satan will think of something bad for you. Think of wal Asr, Innal insane lafi khusr.. (Quran 103)

Tip #12: Are You Involved?

Surround yourself with spiritual influences. Join a study circle, volunteer for a good cause, become active in a Muslim youth group like MYNA or your Muslim Students' Association. Good company is likely to have good influence on you. The involvement will also make good use of your time, sparing little for Satan.

Tip #13: Feeling overwhelmed? Remember Allah

In situations where you feel overwhelmed and can't get yourself to switch the channel, close the browser window or turn your eyes away from the billboard, ask Allah's help. You don't necessarily need any heavy duty, long prayers. Just say La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah (there is neither power nor strength except with God). It is short, simple and reminds you of Who is really in control and can help you out of this. Or if you cannot remember this, just move away saying Allah, Allah. Or bring any popular song about Allah to your lips.

Tip #14: Less TV is better

Although actors in a TV program may be "dressed," if the show is about playing sexual games in public, is it worth watching? Less TV is always better. One of my American friends calls it the 19-inch Satan in our living rooms. She would rather not have it at all. A few broadcast channels are better than cable or satellite. Watching together as family is better than watching alone. Choosing through a TV guide what to watch is better than  channel surfing.

Tip #15: Satan is the Enemy: Seek refuge in God

Satan lured you into this mess. He is the big part of our tests in this life. Seeking refuge in Allah (saying Aoutho billahi minash Shaytan ir Rajeem), will help you resist him and his whisperings to continue looking at the material.

Tip #16: Remember others will Follow You

If you have younger brothers and sisters, think of the bad example you're setting for them. What message are you sending them if they barge into your room and catch you watching Temptation Island or flipping through Playboy magazine?

Tip #17: Look for alternative entertainment

Playing sports is better for your health than watching. We have become way too dependent on electronic entertainment. It is unhealthy and leading our nation to obesity and health problems. Let's stop being couch potatoes. Let's build our bodies through sports and outdoor activities.

Tip #18: Surround yourself with the Quran

Make the Quran a part of your bedroom decor. Put paintings of your personal selection of these beautiful verses from God. Maybe commission a calligrapher to scribe your favorite verses in Arabic and English. I had one drawn with pencil and it sits in front of my desk. One of my daughters asked me to write one for her and she hung it up in front of her laptop.

How many copies and translations of the Quran do you own? Buy more. Become a collector.

If you are into listening the Quran on audio, keep changing your reciter of the Quran. It breaks the monotony and brings focus back to the words of God.

Tip #19: Remember your Mom and sister

Disgusting right? Exactly. No one in his right mind would look at his mom or sister the way pornographic magazines and websites depict women. Remember your mom and your sister, and that may help you stop.

Tip #20: Have someone watch over you

If you really feel you're becoming addicted to this kind of material, try to watch TV, surf the internet with someone else. You don't have to tell them why you're doing this, but this method can perhaps keep you in check and help you avoid looking at pornography or other similar material. After all, Satan tempts us most easily when we're alone. Sitting in the company of a family member or trusted friend will help.

Tip #21: Fasting helps

The Prophet Muhammad advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be a method we use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar material. Peace and blessings of Allah be upon the Prophet.

Tip #22: Life is full of tests

We human beings are weak people. We sometimes make mistakes. We are not perfect. When you fail, don't despair. You can get away from sin by defeating a Satanic suggestion the next time around. Sometimes we don't mean to watch but end up doing it anyway. But as soon as a thought comes to your mind that you are doing wrong, stop right there. If you persist, that will be become a sin which you have chosen intentionally.

Don't feel guilty if you did not plan to watch it. Sometimes the web and email technology force this filth on you. Just move away as fast as you can.

Tip #23: Get Married

Yes. You heard me right. Get married. The real thing is better than the fakeness of pornography which destroys you mentally, physically, and spiritually. In Muslim families, we see many younger people getting married while they are still in school. Texas law allows persons as young as 13 to get married with parental consent and a judge's order. Other states require at least 16 years of age for a marriage license. Talk to your parents. I am personally against very young people marrying, but it is certainly better than them having sinful relationships with each other or with the fictional characters brought to them through the web, magazines and films. There is no shame in talking to your parents and Imams about it. Make a decision with Shura if you want to get married early.

Marriage helps you overcome the destructive directions of a blessing of God called sex.

Tip #24: Use technology to help

There are many filters and spam stopping technologies which are available through different internet providers as well as for your email client. Use technology to close doors for pornography, a heinous crime against humanity.

Tip #25: It is not a Sin if you did not mean it

Sometimes we are just surfing the internet and something else pops up. It may show up in emails despite all the filters. As long as you did not mean to watch and move away immediately it is not a sin. Thank God, Alhamdu lillah. He does not hold us accountable for unintentional things.

Tip #26: Do Tauba, Repent and Return to Allah

He loves to see us come back. If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah. Seek His forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deeds to compensate for what you've done. He is All-Forgiving as long as you are sincere.

Tip #27: Repent Again and Fine Yourself

If you lapse, repent again. God is All-Forgiving as long as we mean it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising that if you do it again, you will pay this much in charity or fast for a day.

The message is: don't give up on yourself. Keep trying. Struggle is life. Satan can get you down, but you can and will beat him with God's help if you are serious about changing.

Tip #28: Pray, Pray and Pray

Never underestimate the power of prayer. Dua is the essence of worship. You connect to God through prayers. Talk to Him. He listens. While there, pray for this author and Sound Vision as well.

Tip #29: Fight Against Pornography

You will be blessed in your struggle if you speak and fight against pornography. It is not one person's problem. It is a problem that is hurting many people.

May God bless you.

Peace.

 

Comments

Being a Christian, I have found this article really useful. Christianity condemns and forbids sexual sins but many Christian nations are doing just opposit to what the bible says. Supermarket counters are full of porn magazines, women in buses and trains wearing half naked cloths. Satan is allowed to destroy the lives of many people through porn.Many young people are looking for answers and you have explained it very well. Interestingly, the bible talks about all these defences.

Location

Gavin

Im 13 years old and im addicted to pornography, i dont know how to pray and i need help to avoid pornography, i know that all muslims in the age of 11-13 get this thing, but you can still fight this if you can believe in yourself and god. I repeat the quran verses and inshallah i will get rid of this curse everybody has. Inshallah all of you will get rid of this. مع السلامة

Location

Stockholm

mashallah this has helped me very very much may god bless you

Location

manchester

I was exactly searching for this.Thanks

Location

Karachi

Thank you very much. Also, I would highly recommend downloading the K9 Web Protection, a free Internet Filtering and Parental Control software. It is a highly sophisticated software and it is free. Here is the link: http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

Location

Mississauga

Jazakallah. Thanks for your article. inshallah it shall help and other people overcoming this evil deviation from our duties as muslims and human beings. I first came into contact with it pornography when I was 12 years old. I am now in the mid 20s. I stopped watching for long periods in between, the maximum being a 10 month stretch of abstinence from porn; but then I took it up again, and again. I am still in the process of overcoming this evil habit. In retrospect I never realized I was addicted up until a year ago. It is a difficult habit to kick, but with the help of Allah it can be overcome. Like another brother mentioned above, pornography can always come back to you, hence you need to actively ensure you stay away from it, and anything that even remotely reminds you of it. Brothers and sisters I shall pray for you and I request that you pray for me. The human brain and body are very powerful tools that Allah has gifted us with, let's use them for their intended purposes.

Location

UK

A phrase that I keep repeating and has helped me tremendously is "I am a slave of Allah and therefore I cannot be enslaved by sin". Please repeat this line over and over again if you are trying to fight this terrible disease. May Allah protect those who have not been exposed to porn, and for those who have may Allah help them in their fight.

Location

USA

Alhamdulillah for this information. i have saved this article and inshallah i will follow it and use it to rid myself of the disgusting haraam of pornography. Thank you again.

Location

Texas

Alhamdulilla, I've finally found the page that can help me overcome the addiction. I felt so bottled up before this for having to deal with this addiction. I was first exposed to pornography at a very young age of around 10, when I was browsing through the webpages that my sister and cousin browsed through earlier. Then I came across it again when I was surfing for the website of my favourite band Spice Girls, last time. And now I'm already 20, and the addictions had been with me for the past 10 years. It's really depressing because I can never bring myself to talk to anyone about this addiction, for fearing of inviting wrong impression of myself. Hence I decided to keep quiet. What made it worst was the fact that I seldom pray. I guess that was what kept bringing relapses to me. Insya`Allah, I will try all the methods mention. Do pray for my success in dealing with this addiction, Insya`Allah. Thank you very much..

Location

SG

Im a 15 year old Catholic,although I am not muslim iI find this site very helpful. Most information here applies to Catholicism as well so it is easy to relate. Thank You and God Bless.

Location

New York City

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