How to treat your wife in Islam ? Tips for a better Muslim husband and Muslim wife relationship

How to treat your wife in Islam ? Tips for a better Muslim husband and Muslim wife relationship

Tips for a better husband and wife relationship

How to treat your wife in islam quotes?  Although many Muslim Husband and Wife relationships may right now be in failing and on a fast track to divorce and its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if they are sincere in their desire to reconcile thier husband wife relationship. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marriages are already in trouble or by Muslims who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage.

Examples of Negative Muslim Husband Wife Relationship

Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family.

Marriage In The Eyes of Allah

It is very sad that this husband wife relationship which Allah has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.

Allah described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran: '. . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . " (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).

1. Do not be a Tyrant

Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi). In the khutba hajjatul wida, Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) clearly stated how men should treat their wives.

2. Be Partners in the Decision Making Process

Follow the principle of 'Shura," and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.

3. Never be Abusive

Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: 'How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?"

4. Be Careful of Your Words

Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.

5. Show Affection

Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.

5. Be Your Spouse's Friend

Show interest in your mate's life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other's lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could perhaps establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class to better their husband wife relationship.

6. Show Appreciation

Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband." (where is this hadith found) Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don't take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated.

7. Work Together in the House

The Prophet is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn't feel that they are.

8. Communication is Important

Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.

9. Forget Past Problems

Don't bring up past problems once they have been solved.

10. Live Simply

Don't be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The 'rizq" is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.

11. Give Your Spouse Time Alone

If your mate doesn't want to be with you all the time, it doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you. People need to be alone for various reasons. Sometimes they want to read, to think about their problems, or just to relax. Don't make them feel that they are committing a sin.

12. Admit Your Mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

13. Physical Relationship is Important

Be available to your mate sexually, and don't let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet was reported to have said: 'It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a beast but you must send a message of love beforehand."

14. Have Meals Together

Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the wife, appreciation for his or her efforts. The Prophet did not complain about food that was put before him.

15. Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics

Never discuss with others things about your marriage that your spouse wouldn't like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some husbands and wives, believe it or not, complain to others about their mate's physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster of husband wife relationship. Information about your intimate relations should be kept between you and your spouse.

Many of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never treat others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and patient. With our spouses, we often do not show these courtesies. Of course, we are usually with our spouses at our worst times --- when we are tired and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at the office, husbands usually come home angry and on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and the housework. Wives and husbands should discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will understand the reasons rather than automatically thinking that their spouse no longer loves them.

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner. This is how to treat your wife in islam.


I think there is a mistake from your part you should have looked into the woman u were planning to marry , wether she would be good mother or not or if she fears ALLAH everyone is entitled and given freedom to live their lives by their choice and so does women , marrying a woman and bending her to you own will even if it is right is very waste of time , and now maybe u shouldale her understand with love and affection instead of ordering around , yes she is obliged to obey you but in islam there is a limit and you cannot push anybody beyond that , and if its not in her capacity to obey you , maybe divorce is better rather than pushing yourselves through hell for someone who doesnt understand the value of islam , but also be careful bcoz islamically even if you divorce her the kids by default would be in her custody , your basic aim for taking such grave steps is basically nullified bcoz at the end kids will have more influence of their mothers , I would suggest u to try to give a good detailed explanation,  try to cut off the things that is influencinf her such un islamic behaviour and and then slowly make her learn religion herself ,and remember even though the prophet was the best of the man he never behaved any less than respectful towards women amd neither selfish , do it the way prophet did it , but do not damage your imaan and neither your principles (if it stems from religious grounds) , and it would take atleast few years of work for all this to happen , so be patient , ALLAH will give u greater rewards than any of the husbands for doing the very job and fulfilling the purpose of your life , many of us want to go and fight with non muslims and be a part of Imaam mehdi but when it comes to our homes the first things we see is our rights , that doesnt means he shouldnt take his rights , its a basics requirement ALLAH has made you entitled but , if u do anything for the sake of ALLAH and for the sake of your kida do it in a way prophet did , there is 99% chance u will succeed by the will of ALLAH , and once your wife has come to her senses regarding her akhirah , she will repent to god , and ask forgiveness from you too , if she was also disobeying you withouth any valid reason from islam , divorce will not cause any benefit for you in this situation in any way if so it will cause more worldly damage to your kid , divorce in for people who love and ALLAH fear so much that they r strong enough to cut of relationship with people in halal way  and u cannot claim to love and fear ALLAH  if I haven't set your matters straight with him as in obeying ALLAH in haram and halal including music and loans ,  a lot of people go for very strict behaviour with their spouses when it comes to islamic matters , bcoz that is what they learn from people of prophets time but alaas  they forget these people were best themselves and strict with themselves first be humble in teaching your wife her own religion the way u would want your father to be humble to your mother or the way u want your son in law to be humble with your daughter in time of ignorance , but if u do not ever want to be a part of such crime happening by your side and thinking of divorce , then its basically telling I have nothing to do with the kids since they are learning unislamic things , and that u can marry another wife and get another set of kids , but u cannot seperate a child from her mother , u will loose control over your kids with divorce if u really love them , do it the way prophet did and how he started teaching religion during times of ignorance bcoz somehow we r again in the same time of jahilyah ,hope this helps 



do it yourself. it's not only her responsibility. spend more time with your kids and take responsibility for teaching them also. then maybe she will see what you're doing and join in it.



just have a normal conversation with her wdym divorce her just like that. also, depending on your kid's age you should wait a bit before explaining them that kind of thing,believe it or not but telling a kid who's less than 8yo that they'll burn in hell forever if they don't respect their parents isn't the best for the mental health for a kid.

im just a random internet person tho,but I'd suggest you to teach your kids for now about the loving,caring,forgiving, rightful Allah who protects him from hardship and gave him such an amazing family,teaching his young mind about fearing Allah as if he didn't love him will just make the kid go out of the path of islam cause hey, everything bad that happens to me is Allah's fault right? just be gentle with kids, they're a beautiful blessing.

The most disliked act in the eyes of Allah is divorce. 

Speak to your wife about how important it is to instill Islamic values in children and maybe sign her up for Islamic classes so she can learn and understand islam.



brother I think you meant to the withholder of wealth (as this is the most disliked act in the eyes of Allah (s.w.t), also divorce is not the most disliked act in the eyes of Allah 



more disliked than kufr? you sound like Christians not so long ago forbidding divorce saying what God has United cannot be separated even in case of beating the wife/husband,if there are problems discussion is the best solution,but if they're unsolvable and the kids are suffering,don't feel guilty about it, Allah is merciful 


First the good part, overall, I am happy with my life and my wife, because I know that there is no such thing as a perfect couple or a perfect marriage. We go through ups and downs of life. Disagreements do not mean we don't love each other. Guiding each other towards good thing does not mean we are criticizing each other. That's my take on life. 

Now my wife, even though a great person, has a black and white thinking, which hurts her a lot and indirectly hurts me too. For her, any slight disagreement is a big fight, she gets angry and lashes out. If she misses a salat and you remind her as nicely as possible by quoting Islamic references, she takes it as an insult and say bad things about her, which again is negative thinking. I try to explain her that negativity causes a lot of misunderstanding and chaos in life, but once she is triggered from a slightest of thing, she makes it into a big storm. I walk on eggshells, trying to avoid stepping on a minefield, but once in a while it just happens, because it is life, stuff happens.

One of the silliest things that causes a lot of heartache for her and me is a simple request I ask of her. When we go to family dinners, marriage ceremonies or in general any social gatherings, I have pleaded her that, please don’t let any of your girlfriends take your solo or group pictures. I trust my wife, she is good Muslim and take hijab, but I don’t trust every other woman, and their moral standards. What if they forward those pictures to all of their extended friends, what if they post them on Facebook? All Muslims are not the same. A simple request such as this makes her so mad, and her black and white thinking kicks in. She says bad words about her character and label her bad with the “P” word. It’s shocking and unfathomable — where is this nasty stuff coming from?

No, matter how nicely I put it that I love you and trust you, it’s other people intentions I do not know. Could you please just stand-up for yourself and just say “NO” to your friends, but instead of saying, “Insha’Allah, I will do” and just move on, she make a huge argument and fight. She is not learning at all, it’s been on several occasion we have talked about it, and there is no resolution. Sometimes she lies that she doesn’t let others take her pictures anymore, but I have caught her red handed in the last few occasions. When I say that, I have seen it with my very own eyes, that’s why I am advising you. This just pushes her over the edge, and she starts screaming.

Does anyone have any advice for me? How to handle this situation or in general how to advise of good things to your spouse? No matter how nicely I put it, communication has always failed.

By the way, she advises, nitpick small stuff in me all the times, sure it irritates me, but I don’t make any fuss about it.



My husband think I'm all ways cheating on him every where I go everything I do I am with another man all the time n all me n him need to do is have sex I don't know what to do now




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