The Quran and Hadith on mothers

The Quran

1. "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

2. "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood' "(17:23-24).

3. "We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to parents; but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not'" (29:8).

4. "We have enjoined on man and woman (to be good) to his/her parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (thy final) Goal. If they (parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)" (31:14-15).

The Hadith

1. The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).

2. A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

3. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).

4. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).

5. It is narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother (Bukhari, Muslim).

Photo Credits to Habib M’henni / Wikimedia Commons

Comments

Asalam Walikum Sophie, Congratulation for your revert to Islam.
As far as my knowledge from my parents & friends in Islam.
1. you have to be good to your parents at any cost. we cannot replace them with a new parents.
2. your thinking about them even if they behave bad should change.
as your have reverted, you are like a new born baby with all your past cleansed (if any sins or mistakes done)... so your forget their past behaviours with you.
3. learn & show them the beauty of Islam from your lifestyle, talk, behaviour, respect.... there are many hadith & prophetic stories which will help you become positive towards them. "Care for them", Even if they get effected good 1% within their heart... you succeed.
4. Dont except them to show you back the good behaviour, they might be old now & i think they been following a religion other than islam... its very difficult at this age to accept your revert unless Allah give them hidayat.

Location

Oman

I am a convert too of over 20 years. I showed good manners and kindness to my mother. In the end she said she liked islaam for the respect it gave mother's. Your reward is with Allah for your patience and kind treatment.

Location

Birmingham

AsSalaamWalaikum Sister.

Please remember the ahadith regarding Asma (RA), where the Prophet (PBUh) said to be kind to your pagan mother.

We are to obey, and follow the Quranuc verses and Hadith as best we can. It's no doubt harder because you are a revert, but please continue to be kind, perhaps even kinder. In Sha Allah they will come around and at the least--respect you for your kindness. And through your actions, no doubt you will secure a place in Jannat. It's your intentions and actions that are important and the main subject of the Quranic verses and Hadith.

Reciting: "Hasbun Allahu Wa Naimal Wakeel/Indeed God alone is sufficient (for me) ," helps me a lot in times of worry and distress. In sha Allah it will help you too.

Location

US

Sophie your parents be good if you are good to them that is the best as the Quran gives guidance.

Location

Uk

Some times in life we may go through difficult situations, Islam is your goal and try to understand your parents you
Chosen your way. And be nice to them
Kind and respectfull to them... Allah will hear duas those who have patient.

Location

UAE

Asalamualaikum sister
Parents have a very high status is Islam, Allah has enjoined upon us to never disrespect our parents even if they are non believers unless they force you to do shirk , or forcing you to accept their religion or not letting you to practice Islam only in these condition you can disobey them but with utmost respect , you must be good to them in other affairs, treat them with kindness, show them Ihow beautiful islam is through your acts. Yes heaven is under the feet of your mother,except you can disobey them only in the aspect of Deen under these 3 condition.

My dear sister in islam, If your parents are not nice to you then its not your fault, Its your intention of love towards them will take you to jannah. Be nice to them, But dont follow them in any act which is not according to QURAN of Sunnah of Prophet S.A.W P.B.U.H.

Lots of love to you. Take care

Location

India

Dear Sophie, it means that you've got to find a balance. You can read the hadith above on Asma's mother, who was among the idolaters of Mecca. She went to visit Asma in Medina in a very hard time of difficult relations between Muslims and pagans. And Asma asked the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) for advice. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said simply: "Be good to your mother." Because people's disbelief is not our responsibility and we don't hate the unbelievers as long as they don't act aggressively against us. I understand that your parents may have caused you many problems, and you may need to keep a certain distance of them. It is your natural right to do it. But don't abandon them completely, try to visit them, avoid quarreling with them on religious issues, as the Quran says, don't obey them if they want you to leave faith, but respect and help them on issues of this world. They have made certain sacrifices for you as you were a child, to feed and educate you, and now you may show your human gratitude by being patient with them as they have been with you in your childhood. Especially when they'll be aged, sick and in need of somebody to talk to, try to assist and help them as much as you can. And who knows, your good behavior may change their feelings toward you and your religion. This is how I modestly regard this issue.

Location

Tirana, Albania

Dear Sophie,

You are in a tough situation. But dont give up on your hope. There were people in even worse situations. First dont give up on your belief and iman. Meanwhile be patient. Never broke your relationship with your parents. Avoid talking about religion for a while. Show them that only thing you need and want is to be helpful, respectful and resonsible for them. Be kind to them. Show them how your belief changed you and made you a better person. If being among them makes you very upset. Write to them. believe me every person in their life has a breaking moment. They will understand their way wasnt good one day. just be good, say good and do good...

Location

USA

Yes it is true that the paradise is under mother's feet. But if the mother does not follow shari'ah and even ask you to not follow shari'ah, you will have to disobey her in that matter. However, dont loose respect for her. She is still ur mother. Love her, pray for the best for her. Not following everything she asked you to do doesnt mean, that you will go to hell. I hope i answere ur confusion. May Allah guide u more in this path sister :). My advice is, it's okay if you feel that staying away is the best. Because y know how it actually is between you and your mother. Just dont totally abndoned her. It could be that, from that she could realize how islam invites peace.

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