During the two thousand teens years, there were several headlines of young Muslim women living in western countries who voluntarily left home to join ISIS fighters in Syria. Remember Shamima Begum from the UK, Nicole Jack from the UK, and Hoda Muthana from the US.? These women went to Syria, were married, widowed, survived the brutal conditions of war and intense poverty. All currently remain in Syria detention camps under distressing conditions.
But this is not an article about politics. This is an honest and open discussion right at the beginning of the year because January in the United States is National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month. A Muslim family in the United States or Canada should not feel that family members are protected from and would not fall victim to the grooming and exploitation of others.
Grooming
Grooming is the first part of the process of manipulation and exploitation. Groomers look for people who are vulnerable, naïve, unaware, confused, lonely, angry, or who feel oppressed or misunderstood. They seek out people with these qualities and build trust by listening to them, appearing to sympathize with and understand or introduce them to new ways of thinking.
When they introduce new ways of thinking they first bridge the potential victim’s perspective with something the victim finds interesting. They hide in plain sight and will use online platforms, schools, sports events, social gatherings and yes, a groomer can lurk at a Muslim owned business or Islamic center in search of Muslims who are naïve, needy, confused, rebellious, have an identity crisis or lonely.
Groomers exploit the elderly, divorced and widowed because they are often lonely. Groomers exploit senior citizens by claiming financial hardship and borrowing money, moving in or taking items from their home.
They exploit teens by building rapport and trust. In 2025 United States, the sitting president is involved in a scandal of child trafficking and exploitation. The girls weren’t recruited by men, but by another woman Ghislaine Maxwell, they thought was their friend. Muslim parents need not feel secure that just because their daughter is not mixing with boys that she is free from being approached by someone with ill intention.
Teens who are needy, lonely, confused or rebellious are typically open to conversation because they want to be ‘heard’. The groomer builds trust by being a sympathetic sounding board. Many of the young Muslim women during the two thousand teens were groomed to feel that leaving the U.S. was an Islamically correct response to show their piety.
The grooming of people for exploitation may be presented as something innocuous like a marriage proposal. And yes, this can be problematic for both male and female. A male may groom the family that he is a practicing Muslim able and willing to support a wife but instead put her to work for him or exhaust the extended family often seeking financial support. A female may groom the family that she is a pious, knowledgeable and kind, when her true intention is to exploit a man financially by marrying and then a quick divorce demanding alimony or make false accusations to exploit the legal system to extort monies on her behalf
In Islam, we know there is a cure for every illness. Grooming is a fitnah that can be avoided. First equate the whole family with the signs of grooming so that it is not mistaken for friendship.
- Intense interest, attention and excessive compliments to make a person feel good.
- Excessive gift giving or fulfilling needs/wants
- Identical interests with extreme enthusiasm to show how much have in common
- Coincidentally share all the same concerns or insecurities
- Wants depth of relationship to be secret
- Wants to cut off and isolate from other friends or family
- Wants to move extremely quickly from meeting to ‘marriage’ or sharing finances
- Initiates secret often inappropriate contact
- Suggests or make controversial statements to test boundaries
- Shares personal problems seeking emotional support and help to gain affinity
- Has logical reasons why contact with their family is difficult
- References have no depth of relationship, often new friends
- Gaps in story of life explained as painful to gain sympathy
For Muslims, our friends give good advice and help protect our Iman.
“The believers, both men and women, are guardians of one another. They encourage good and forbid evil, establish prayer and pay alms-tax, and obey Allah and His Messenger. It is they who will be shown Allah’s mercy. Surely Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.”
Suratul Tawbah 9:71
Remind family members that a ‘friend’ who keeps secrets, pushes boundaries, challenges Islamic tenants, is overly needed, and tries to isolate is not a true friend. In Islam, a true friend is important and should be chosen carefully with consideration. The prophet Muhammad (pbuh) emphasized the significance and power of friendship when he was reported to have said:
A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.
Narrated Abu Hurayrah
Sunan Abi Dawud 4833
Surely the best and most powerful weapon against groomers is to include regular prayer (du'a) to Allah seeking His protection from the evil that lurks amongst us. Insha’Allah recite “The Three Quls”. Thes are the three suras (suwar) in the Holy Quran: Suratul Iklas, Suratal Falaq and Suratul An Nas because thy al share the them of seeking refuge in Allah for protection.
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Author bio: Mahasin D. Shamsid-Deen is the news curator and content manager for Muslim Network TV (MNTV) and contributing writer for Sound Vision. She holds a master’s degree in English writing and has worked as both a High School and College ESL Instructor and Writing Instructor for more than a decade. Mahasin has numerous published articles, books, essays and is a published playwright with three award winning stage plays. She is currently writing her dissertation for her doctoral degree.
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