“O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.”
(Surah Al-Hujurat, 49:11)
Disparagement humor is an attempt to amuse through the denigration of a social group or its representatives. In other words, it is a joke or comment that puts someone down who is already rendered vulnerable based on social status. Jokes or comments that fall under this category reinforce a prejudice that someone holds and simultaneously desensitize others to the impact of that prejudice and actions that stem from it. The implication is not about sensitivity or hypersensitivity; rather it implies there is a deeper concern.
This type of humor, whether in the form of jokes or comments no matter how funny some people may think they are, should not be normalized and tolerated. It can be best described as part of a continuum of harm which includes depreciation, demeaning jokes, and microaggressions and these types of behaviors can lead to physical aggression.
But before anything else, parents have to set the foundation for their children in how humor should be shared. Parents must always guard their tongues and keep in mind how our beloved Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, joked with his companions.
Here are four important considerations about the etiquettes of humor taken from the best of examples, our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.
When he joked, he always spoke the truth.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the companions had asked The Messenger of Allah:
“They said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! You joke with us?’
He said: ‘Indeed I do not say except what is true.'”
(Hasan)
Jokes should not mock our religion.
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, also warned:
“Woe to the one who lies to people just to make them laugh. Woe to him, woe to him.”
(Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)
Jokes should not mock the Holy Quran or it versus, nor the Prophet Muhammed, peace and blessings be upon him, his sunnah or his ahadeeth, nor should it mock any other fundamental principle of our religion. Imaam Ibn Katheer in his tafseer of Surah At-Tawba) noted:
“Muhammad Ibn Ka’b, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that a man from the hypocrites said: ‘Those who memorize the Quran have the biggest stomachs, are the worst liars and the greatest cowards at the time of fighting.’ This was conveyed to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, so the hypocrite rushed to the Prophet and found him on his camel. He said: ‘O Messenger of Allah I was only joking.’ Thereupon, the Prophet recited the verses which translate as: “And if you ask them, they will surely say: ‘We were only conversing and playing.’ Say, ‘Is it Allaah and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking? Make no excuse; you have disbelieved [i.e., rejected faith] after your belief. If We pardon one faction of you – We will punish another faction because they were criminals.”
(Surah At-Tawbah, 9:65-66)
Humor should not cause harm to others.
Another principle of permissible joking is that it should not cause harm to others, be it physical or emotional. Allah says in the Holy Quran:
“O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.”
(Surah Al-Hujurat, 49:11)
Joking should not be done excessively.
Last but not least, joking should not be done excessively.
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“Do not laugh too much, because excessive laughter kills your heart.”
(Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad)
Alhamdulillah, Islam welcomes humor and joking as long as they are balanced and in line with Islamic criteria for increasing brotherhood and love between people.
A man said to Sufyaan ibn ‘Uyaynah, may Allah be pleased with him:
“Joking is not right, it is to be denounced.” He replied, “Rather it is Sunnah, but only for those who know how to do it and do it at the appropriate time.”
As long as we guard our tongues and follow the prophetic etiquette of joking, we can enjoy one another’s company and also have fun.
Miriam Mohamed is a mother to seven children and a granny to two cats! She loves trying new things and learning cool facts. She has taught in an Islamic school setting, has experience assisting children with special needs, and enjoys volunteering and being a part of the community. Miriam lives in Chicago with her beautiful flowering cherry tree and big family.
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