Everyone defines happiness in a different way. Some think that money will buy them happiness. Some pray for good health. Some ask for specific things. Ever since I was a child, I only asked for happiness. Why not let God decide how He thinks you will be happy? Just ask Him you want to be happy and sit back and see what comes your way.
When I had my second child, I had a 2-year-old and a new born at the same time. I was also chronically ill and no one could figure out what it was. My energy was so low that I could barely get off the couch or get up from the bed and managing little kids at home was becoming impossible. My husband had a traveling job and there was no family around to help. It was a very hard time for me. My emotions were all over the place and I felt my brain could not function.
Someone mentioned reading Surah Falaq and Naas eleven times each after prayer. I did that. Almost immediately a veil lifted off of me and my mind became sharp again. It was so miraculous that I could not believe it. But my body was still very weak and tired. Due to the sudden shift in my mental ability to think, I could focus on my body and see what I could do to fix that. My doctor was clueless. All blood tests were coming out fine.
I decided to talk to my brain and body. Lying down with my eyes closed, I would start talking to my toes and tell them to relax. I would go up my feet, and tell them the same thing, focusing my thoughts on that particular part of the body I was commanding. As I progressed to my back, the first few times I started breathing so deeply that I fell asleep before finishing the entire body. Slowly my brain started to receive my words and started to relax the rest of my body. Every single day I would command all my limbs, my organs and my cells to relax. I would tell them that they are healthy and happy, using the present tense. I would tell myself of how much I love this world and how this world loves me. How much I love God and how much love He gives me. Without knowing it I was practicing the art of NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) which is training the subconscious mind to listen to you.
What inspired me to do that was an aunt who told me to think positively about myself. She said that we have been told to use positive words by our Prophet (pbuh). It is his sunnah to never despair, to speak positive, to love others and yourself. Not in a conceited way, but in a way that we are created by the Most Supreme Being: Allah. How can we not be perfect if He made us? Our bodies and organs and cells are alive. When we speak to them they respond. Our brain responds. It takes time for it to get used to your commands and voice but I was consistent and it worked for me in many ways. This is one way God showed me how to attain happiness in my dark time. I just had to be open to suggestions and not reject them as sounding strange.
I have seen a lot of positive changes in my attitude, my life, and my relationships with others. I have learned to have empathy for people. I genuinely feel concern for people, even strangers at times, wanting to help them. And in return I feel God makes my life more peaceful, granting me love from my own family.
Keep your life and wishes simple. Get the skeptic out of your system and start believing.
You must do this for your own well-being and sanity, and with time you must teach your children to do the same. They are at an age now where they will learn what you tell them without skepticism. Happiness is a state that does not require any reason. We can eat all the chocolate cakes we want, buy the best toys and live in the best homes, but happiness will not be guaranteed to us. Bring yourself and your family to remain in that state and when you fall off the wagon, get back on again!
Nargis Naqvi is also a life coach, founder of MY Voice Canada (an online magazine run by and for Muslim youth), and the Director of Training at the Sound Vision Foundation. She lives with her husband and three children in Ontario. You can purchase her book The Perfect Muslim Child on Amazon.
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