Practical Advice from Muslim Teachers about Handling LGBTQ Activities in the Classroom

Muslim parents and their children are heading into the new school year with much anxiety about actions that have taken place across the country to change policies and curricula related to gender identity and sexual orientation. The exact details vary widely from one county or state to another. In parts of the country, parents are up in arms about protecting their rights to challenge lessons that contradict their faith traditions, particularly their right to “opt-out” of LGBTQ content that contains sexually explicit information and is not age-appropriate. In other places, recent court cases have added even more complications. 

In a recent group chat in an affluent school district in Maryland, veteran teachers and parent advocates encouraged parents to keep abreast of school policies and practices related to LGBTQ matters. They also encouraged parents to become active and vocal in their child’s school about their needs and concerns. Here are some specific suggestions that put those goals into action.

1. Do your own homework. Read everything that comes to you from your child’s school thoroughly and visit the district’s website often. 
2. Make your presence known. Your child’s teacher(s) should know your name and your face and have no doubt about your presence. 
3. Be kind and friendly. 
4. Let them know about your concerns with this content. Always frame it about ensuring the topics are age-appropriate. Mention that topics related to sex are very sensitive in your culture, faith, and family. Frame it as respecting the diversity of your beliefs.
5. Even if your school district does not offer an opt-out policy, you can create a de facto opt-out in your child’s classroom with cooperation from your child’s teacher.
6. Print out the LGBTQ book list and request to know if or when they are being read in your child’s classroom. Request to be alerted if topics arise so you can follow up. 
7. If the teacher seems understanding to what you are saying, thank them and stay in touch. 
8. Plan to attend everything including open house and back-to-school night. 
9. Volunteer. Offer to sort books. Help with bulletin boards. Chaperone field trips. 
10. Join the PTA so you can know about more chances to volunteer.
11. Break down the perception that we (those who object to the LGBTQ agenda) are bigoted people. Let them see kind-hearted parents who love their child’s teachers and school, people who simply want to be able to teach their kids their values.
12. Remember teachers are not the enemies. Most of them just want to teach. 
13. Treat the teachers occasionally. Buy the teacher coffee and ask for their favorite foods and restaurants. There are special days to consider buying lunch for the teacher: field trips, parent conferences, or random days as thank yous. Teachers notice and remember these things. It’s all about relationship building.
14. There are 10-20% of teachers who are activists and they will be difficult to deal with. If you see your child’s teacher has things like pride flags in the classroom, consider a change of classroom. Principals may push back but keep pushing as they have 100% the authority to do so. 
15. Teachers do not generally want the headache of struggles with parents. Yes, some teachers may gossip about you and say you are those “pain parents,” but it’s a price to pay. 
16. Parents are the ultimate power in a school. You need to be known at that school. Teachers need to know that every mention of LGBTQ topics will get back to you and result in a request for an in-person conversation. If the request is made via email, copy the principal, too. 
17. Get in touch with other parents in the classroom. Find people with similar values and meet with the teacher as a group. 

In addition to the actions that parents can take, it is important for parents to educate their children, too, especially those who are in 4th grade and up.

1. You must teach them what Muslims believe and why. 
2. Help them to see the logical incoherence of the LGBTQ ideology. 
   1. Ask them what is a woman? If anyone says they are a girl, does that make it so?  If I am 12 and instead I say I’m 15, can I make a request and go to high school? Can I also decide if I want to be a different race? Why not?
   2. If they feel confident, they can engage their classmates with these questions, too. They will be confounded because there are no good answers to these questions.
   3. But you have to caution them to use wisdom on what is best to ask and where.
3. It is important that they know that they have a right to practice Islam and adhere to Islamic guidance.
4. They also need to know that their beliefs could be challenged. And although this is true, bullying of any kind is against school policies and will not be tolerated. If they are being harassed or taunted because they are Muslim or because of a stated belief, they should immediately tell the teacher, school counselor, or an administrator. And they should let you know immediately as well. 

Many parents who have been comfortable with their children in public schools in the past are very concerned about the recent introduction of LGBTQ-centered policies and practices in the classroom. This territory is changing rapidly and it will be more important than ever to stay well-informed and to be your family’s best advocate.