Now that we are in the midst of summer break, many families are considering how to make the most of their time off. Some may plan day trips or staycations close to home, while others take advantage of the school-free months to visit faraway relatives or explore new destinations. For those of us blessed to still have our parents or grandparents in our lives, vacation plans may revolve around visiting them, or even better, bringing them along. Including our elders in family getaways can be a beautiful opportunity to strengthen intergenerational bonds. It also comes with unique considerations depending on their age, health, and physical ability. Factors such as mobility, accessibility, dietary needs, and rest schedules must be thoughtfully addressed to ensure that everyone has a safe and enjoyable experience.
Before we explore practical tips for vacationing with grandma and grandpa, it is important to reflect on our Islamic responsibilities toward our elders. First and foremost, we are commanded to treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. Allah makes this very clear in the Qur’an:
“For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honor your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully. And be humble with them out of mercy, and pray, ‘My Lord! Be merciful to them as they raised me when I was young.’” (17:23–24)
Likewise, the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, emphasized the importance of showing mercy across generations. He said:
“Whoever does not show mercy to our young ones, or acknowledge the rights of our elders, he is not one of us.” (Sunan Abi Dawud, 4943)
These teachings must remain front and center as we prepare for travel. Let us be honest, family vacations, while enjoyable, can also be highly stressful. From early rising to long drives or crowded airports, there are many moments when our patience is put to the test. The youngest and oldest members of the family may struggle the most with transitions and fatigue. Yet, these are the very times when our manners and mercy matter most. If we fulfill the needs of our elders and children, we can transform travel time into a source of joy, connection, and blessings. After all, the goal is not just to get away from it all; it is to come together and relax as a family.
Set your intention and begin with “Bismillah,” in the name of Allah, to start your family vacation on the right foot. Once your destination is set and your plans are in place, here are some tips to ensure that your trip with grandparents is smooth, thoughtful, and memorable for all:
1. Start with dua.
Before embarking on your journey, begin with the supplication for traveling. This not only invites the protection and blessings of Allah upon your trip, but it also sets the tone for a spiritually mindful experience. There are plenty of prophetic duas for traveling that you can access in Hisnul Muslim, or Fortress of the Muslim, or Islamic travel apps. These resources provide Arabic, transliteration, and translation for specific prayers and supplications. Here are some examples:
For stepping out:
“In the Name of Allah, I have placed my trust in Allah; there is no might and no power except by Allah.”
When entering the mode of transport:
“Glory unto Him Who created this transportation, for us, though we were unable to create it on our own. And unto our Lord we shall return.”
For safe travels:
“O Allah, make easy for us our journey and shorten its distance. O Allah, You are the companion on the journey and the guardian of the family. O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the difficulties of travel, unpleasant sights, and changes in fortune in wealth and family.”
Recite these duas together as a family and teach them to the little ones to unite everyone with a sense of purpose and gratitude. Do not limit your supplications to the beginning of the trip. Continue to remember Allah throughout the day with dhikr, dua, and recitation of the Quran.
2. Appoint a leader to keep things organized.
Traveling as a group can become chaotic if roles are not clearly defined. Appoint someone to help manage decisions, look out for the needs of children and elders, and communicate plans. This advice is rooted in the Sunnah:
Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“Whenever three people set out on a journey, let one of them be appointed as their leader.” (Sunan Abi Dawud, 2608)
This “leader” could be a parent, older sibling, or even a grandchild who enjoys organizing activities. It does not have to be a formal position; it can be a functional one, similar to the line leader in an elementary school classroom or a tour guide during an expedition.
3. Be prepared.
In addition to clothing and toiletries, remember to bring essentials such as snacks, water bottles, prescription medications, vitamins, and basic first-aid supplies. Consider everyone's needs, including dietary restrictions, mobility aids, prayer garments, or comfort items for naps or longer rides.
4. Take extra breaks.
When traveling with elders (or toddlers!), bathroom breaks and rest stops are inevitable and frequent! Instead of getting frustrated, plan extra time in your itinerary. Making these stops part of the plan rather than a disruption helps keep everyone calm and content. Consider packing helpful items like:
- A travel potty or toilet seat covers
- Designated water bottles for bathroom use
- Wet wipes and toilet paper
- Pads, adult diapers, plastic bags, and extra towels
5. Invite grandparents into the planning process.
Sometimes, our elders may be hesitant to voice their preferences, either out of shyness or a desire not to burden others. Be proactive and ask questions, such as whether they need extra rest or quiet time, or if there is anything they would like to see or do. Small gestures of consideration go a long way in making them feel valued.
6. Lend a helping hand.
Whether staying in a hotel or visiting the grandparents’ home, offer to carry luggage, run errands, or help with tidying up. Even small tasks like bringing tea or setting up a prayer area show thoughtfulness and care. These actions are also a practical way to teach children how to serve their elders.
7. Create memories together.
Last but not least, make it a priority to create beautiful memories with grandparents. Pick up small souvenirs for them, surprise them with a gift, and take lots of pictures and videos. These keepsakes will not only be treasured by your parents or grandparents but will also become part of your children’s cherished memories. Later, you can even create a family photo book or video montage to share.
With these helpful suggestions in mind, you are ready to embark on an unforgettable journey filled with love, laughter, and lots of family time. Remember that the moments we spend with our parents and grandparents are precious and often fleeting. Taking a break from our busy work and school routines to connect with those we love is a gift we must treasure. Every small act of kindness toward our elders, whether listening, lending a hand, or simply smiling, can also be considered an act of worship. Approach this time with intention and compassion, and your vacation can become both a source of joyful memories and a means of earning spiritual reward.
Bio:
Wendy Díaz is a Puerto Rican Muslim writer, award-winning poet, educator, and mother of six. She co-founded Hablamos Islam, a non-profit organization that produces educational resources about Islam in Spanish (hablamosislam.org). She has written, illustrated, and published over a dozen children’s books and lives with her family in Maryland. Follow Wendy Díaz on social media @authorwendydiaz and @hablamosislam.
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