SUMMARY: Grandparents are a trove of honor and value for the younger generations and Muslims should avail of their company, honor them, care and pray for them to take advantage of this blessing.
From a linguistic perspective the term ‘grandparent’ is meant to denote a generational difference with the context of adding importance to this ascendant. It is a respectful way to acknowledge that these family members that came before us are perhaps wiser. The siblings of grandparents are often referred to as grand aunts or grand uncles although many people will use grand and great interchangeably. The ‘grand’ ‘great’ members of our families are indeed worthy of such titles and are a critical part of a Muslim child’s well being and development. It is an awesome honor to be a grandparent, grand aunt or grand uncle.
Make dua
Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, "There are three supplications that will undoubtedly be answered: the supplication of one who has been wronged, the supplication of the traveler, and the supplication of the parent for his child." (Sunan Ibn Majah)
The prayers of a grandparent, grand uncle or grant aunt, or even older cousins, is very powerful. We look to the Holy Quran for guidance and follow the example of Prophet Ibrahim to see just how significant it is for parents and grandparents to make dua for their children.
First, we note how the Quran explains that Prophet Ibrahim exemplifies the belief that mankind should embrace with Tauheed – the oneness of Allah.
"Indeed, Ibrahim was a model of excellence: devoted to Allah, upright in faith—not a polytheist..." (16:120)
We note that Prophet Ibrahim made this dua: "My Lord! Bless me with righteous offspring." (37:100)
Allah answered his dua and blessed Prophet Ibrahim with righteous offspring whom He even mentions in the Quran:
"We blessed him with Ishaq and Yaqub, and reserved prophethood and revelation for his descendants. We gave him his reward in this life, and in the Hereafter he will certainly be among the righteous." (29:27)
Acknowledge their Muslim nature
Every child is born with a predisposition to submit to Allah. Muslim children have the added benefit of parents and family teaching them there is no god but Allah and embracing the principles of Islam. We know and understand that our families are Muslim but sometimes may be neglectful and overly caught up in the idea of respect afforded to the elder without acknowledging the respect and acknowledgment due to the younger as well. A Muslim, and yes, this means family members (including the younger ones) have rights over the other and the intention of all extended family members are to nurture and grow the love, respect, safety and intellect of the younger family members. Prophet Muhammad, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, said:
“A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his tongue and hands. And a Muhajir (emigrant) is the one who gives up all what Allah has forbidden.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Contextualize experiences
The ‘grands’ within a Muslim family are not only from a different time in history, but often from a different place. If the family are recent migrants to the United States, then the ‘grands’ may be from a different culture, ethnicity and country. If the “grands” are those who embraced Islam they likely have a before-Islam vs. after-Islam perspective. These experiences are valuable to the growth and development of a sound Muslim identity in the youth. Besides making a comparison, this offers an opportunity to explain to younger family members why a certain practice was discarded through a sharing of personal experience. We find in a hadith: “Blessings are with your elders.”
Cook and eat together
Most celebrations and special family events have a ‘food’ component. There is a special way that human beings connect when sharing a meal – we release endorphins that create feelings of happiness and good will towards the others in our presence. “Grands” that share recipes and demonstrate with the younger generation family favorite meals not only spend meaningful time together but also have opportunities to establish connections and traditions. Cooking also affords the grand uncles and grand aunts an opportunity to share family stories that explore lessons learned, the funny challenges and even their own versions of the recipes. Children will often have their own favorites from ‘grandmother’ or ‘grand aunt’ which they can pass on to future generations of their own. When his companions complained that they did not find satisfaction in their food, Prophet Muhammad advised, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him:
"Perhaps you eat separately? Eat your meals together and mention the name of Allah over it, for you will be blessed in it." (Sunan Abi Dawud)
Visit
Visiting with grandchildren, grandnieces and grandnephews should be done regularly. In an age and time when families are often separated by whole continents that visit may be a phone call, video call, text, internet meeting through Google meet and other apps, letters, texts or even physically going to each other’s home. The key is that “grands” can reach out to the younger members of the family and not only be a listening ear but also a source of comfort. There is mutual benefit in such action as ‘grands’ tend to be older and my experience more loneliness due to the loss of spouse, family members and friends. Thus, remaining in contact with family, younger family members helps parents and child alike. Children of all ages want and need to feel loved and that includes a love from extended family members.
The Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, said: “Allah Almighty said: 'My love is a right upon those who befriend each other for My sake, and My love is a right upon those who defend each other for My sake.'” (Al-Mujam al-Saghir lil-Tabarani)
The most wonderful part of visiting and staying in contact and communication with the younger ‘grands’ is that it is a good deed that is most pleasing to Allah.
Author bio: Mahasin D. Shamsid-Deen is the news curator and content manager for Muslim Network TV (MNTV) and contributing writer for Sound Vision. She holds a Master’s degree in English Writing and has worked as both a High School and College ESL Instructor and Writing Instructor for more than a decade. Mahasin has numerous published articles, books, essays and is a published playwright with three award winning stage plays. She is currently writing her dissertation for her doctoral degree.
Related:
How to Stay Connected with Grandparents over Long Distances
Honoring our Parents and Grandparents: Preserving their Legacy through Journaling
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