From a linguistic perspective the term ‘grandparent’ is meant to denote a generational difference with the context of adding importance to this ascendant. It is a respectful way to acknowledge that these family members that came before us are perhaps wiser. The siblings of grandparents are often referred to as grand aunts or grand uncles although many people will use grand and great interchangeably. The ‘grand’ ‘great’ members of our families are indeed worthy of such titles and are a critical part of a Muslim child’s well being and development. It is an awesome honor to be a grandparent, grand aunt or grand uncle.
Make du’a
Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "There are three supplications that will undoubtedly be answered: the supplication of one who has been wronged, the supplication of the traveler, and the supplication of the parent for his child."
Ibn Maajah - Al-Albaani graded it hasan (good)
The prayers of a grandparent, grand uncle or grant aunt (or even older cousins in the same generation) is very powerful. We look to the Holy Quran for guidance and follow the example of Prophet Ibrahim (AS) to see just how significant it is for parents and grandparents to make du’a for their children.
First, we note how the Quran explains that Prophet Ibrahim (AS) exemplifies the belief that mankind should embrace with Tauheed – the oneness of Allah.
Indeed, Abraham was a model of excellence: devoted to Allah, ˹perfectly˺ upright—not a polytheist—
Surah Nahl 16:120
Second, we note that Prophet Ibrahim (AS) made dua for his offspring – this was his children and his grandchildren.
My Lord! Bless me with righteous offspring.
Surah As Saffat 37:100
Thirdly, in the Quran we see that Allah answered his dua and blessed Prophet Ibrahim (AS) with righteous offspring and even mentions them in the Quran. For example, the Quran teaches us about some of the descendants of Prophet Ibrahim (AS)
We blessed him with Isaac and ˹later˺ Jacob, and reserved prophethood and revelation for his descendants. We gave him his reward in this life,1 and in the Hereafter he will certainly be among the righteous
Surah Ankabut 29:28
Acknowledge their Muslim nature
Every child is born with a predisposition to submit to Allah. Muslim children have the added benefit of parents and family teaching them there is no god but Allah and embracing the principles of Islam. We know and understand that our families are Muslim but sometimes may be neglectful and overly caught up in the idea of respect afforded to the elder without acknowledging the respect and acknowledgment due to the younger as well. A Muslim, and yes, this means family members (including the younger ones) have rights over the other and the intention of all extended family members are to nurture and grow the love, respect, safety and intellect of the younger family members.
“A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his tongue and hands. And a Muhajir (emigrant) is the one who gives up (abandons) all what Allah has forbidden.”
Sahih Bukhari
Contextualize experiences
The ‘grands’ within a Muslim family are not only from a different time in history, but often from a different place. If the family are recent migrants to the United States, then the ‘grands’ may be from a different culture, ethnicity and country. If the “grands” are those who embraced Islam they likely have a before-Islam vs. after-Islam perspective. These experiences are valuable to the growth and development of a sound Muslim identity in the youth. Besides making a comparison, this offers an opportunity to explain to younger family members why a certain practice was discarded through a sharing of personal experience.
“Blessing are with your elders.”
Al-Tirmidhi
Cook and eat together
Most celebrations and special family events have a ‘food’ component. There is a special way that human beings connect when sharing a meal – we release endorphins that create feelings of happiness and good will towards the others in our presence. “Grands” that share recipes and demonstrate with the younger generation family favorite meals not only spend meaningful time together but also have opportunities to establish connections and traditions. Cooking also affords the grand uncles and grand aunts an opportunity to share family stories that explore lessons learned, the funny challenges and even their own versions of the recipes. Children will often have their own favorites from ‘grandmother’ or ‘grand aunt’ which they can pass on to future generations of their own.
"Perhaps you eat separately? Eat your meals together and mention the name of Allah over it, for you will be blessed in it,"
Sunan Abi Dawud.
Visit
Visiting with grandchildren, grandnieces and grandnephews should be done regularly. In an age and time when families are often separated by whole continents that visit may be a phone call, video call, text, internet meeting through Google meet and other apps, letters, texts or even physically going to each other’s home. The key is that “grands” can reach out to the younger members of the family and not only be a listening ear but also a source of comfort. There is mutual benefit in such action as ‘grands’ tend to be older and my experience more loneliness due to the loss of spouse, family members and friends. Thus, remaining in contact with family, younger family members helps parents and child alike. Children of all ages want and need to feel loved and that includes a love from extended family members. The most wonderful part of visiting and staying in contact and communication with the younger ‘grands’ is that it is a good deed that is most pleasing to Allah.
‘Amr ibn ‘Abasah reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah Almighty said: My love is a right upon those who befriend each other for My sake, and My love is a right upon those who defend each other for My sake.”
al-Mu’jam al-Ṣaghīr lil-Ṭabarānī 1095
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani
Author bio: Mahasin D. Shamsid-Deen is the news curator and content manager for Muslim Network TV (MNTV) and contributing writer for Sound Vision. She holds a Master’s degree in English Writing and has worked as both a High School and College ESL Instructor and Writing Instructor for more than a decade. Mahasin has numerous published articles, books, essays and is a published playwright with three award winning stage plays. She is currently writing her dissertation for her doctoral degree.
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