Trying to teach our children about cleanliness can feel like a never-ending battle sometimes. Struggles over bathing, nagging over left-out toys, and sore sights of messy rooms can become daily sources of tension for families. But with a little modeling, a lot of positive reinforcement, and simple systems that make sense for all, children can learn to keep themselves and their spaces clean.
Here are five cleanliness messages that can help.
1. “It feels good to be clean.”
This is a great one to repeat often with your children and its message covers multiple important frames of mind.
The first is that it feels physically good when our bodies are clean. Whether it’s after a shower, when we make wudu (ablution before prayer), or after simply brushing our teeth, a clean body feels fresh and healthy.
The second is that being clean feels good for our minds. Washing in the morning and changing into fresh clothes can help awaken and energize us for the day ahead while cleansing ourselves in the evening can help us to feel calm and rested at night.
The most important mindset though is that keeping clean makes us feel good because we know we are doing something that is pleasing to Allah, subhana wa ta ala, The Most Glorified, The Most High. The Quran and the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, provide guidance that encourages cleanliness in many ways. Maintaining these practices can serve as an excellent way to draw closer to Allah and earn his pleasure.
2. “Less is more.”
Many children struggle with cleanliness when it comes to their personal belongings. Taking a simple approach to owning less can help children of all ages and stages learn to manage and maintain a clean environment at home.
“How does less make more?” your child may ask.
Owning less things means it takes less work to keep your things clean and tidy. This means your child will have more time for doing the things that they love (because cleaning probably isn’t at the top of that list). Owning less also helps teach children to care for the things that they already have, building a sense of gratitude and giving them more use from a few beloved items rather than hardly touching a mountain of items they don’t care about.
If your children are older, owning less also creates more opportunities for them to be intentional about the things they want. They can begin asking themselves deeper questions about their needs and goals for a specific thing. Will it have lasting benefits for them? Will it be something they can maintain, keep clean and properly care for? Is it something that can help them get closer to Allah?
3. “Everything has a home.”
Simple systems help make it easier for children to keep their belongings and environment clean. Teaching children that “everything has a home” and then modeling where those homes are and what goes inside gives children clear, consistent instructions that they can follow again and again until it becomes a habit for them.
Allowing your child to help create the systems for cleaning or organizing is also helpful and allows for a sense of ownership of the process. Sometimes what works for us as adults does not work for our children and allowing them to have a say in the systems they will use to maintain their belongings and keep their spaces clean can help make the job much easier.
4. “You can clean it.”
This message is all about encouraging personal responsibility and it can begin with children as young as two or three years old. The trick is coupling it with plenty of modeling of how to clean different kinds of messes that your child might make.
When your toddler spills a drink, instead of shaming them, tell them positively that they can clean it up, and then show them how to clean the spill before giving them a turn to try it themselves.
The same approach works for picking up toys, putting away dirty clothes, throwing away trash, or any other cleaning tasks you want to encourage your children towards. As they get older they will need less modeling because you will have empowered them with the tools, skills, and mindset to do it themselves.
5. “Allah loves it when we help.”
Being of help to others comes with great reward.
Abu Hurairah reported, that the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessing be upon him, said:
“Allah continues to fulfill the needs of the servant as long as he fulfills the needs of his brother.”
(Al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr 4664)
When we teach our children to help the family, whether it’s by cleaning or anything else, we are raising them to take pleasure in working for Allah by being of benefit to others. We are teaching them to extend kindness, love, and mercy to others just like we ask Allah to extend those things to us.
Teaching your children about cleanliness doesn’t have to be a battle. Extend to them the same kindnesses you want them to extend to others, model the habits you want them to learn, and fill them with positive messages to encourage them to take pride in living a clean and healthy life that earns Allah’s pleasure.
Melissa Barreto is a home-educating mother of five children and the Co-Founder of Wildflower Homeschool Collective, a homeschool organization based in Northern New Jersey.
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