Motherhood can often seem like a thankless job that can drain a woman’s energy and test the limits of her patience, yet it remains the most rewarding leadership role a human being can undertake. With its many blessings comes the weight of sleepless nights, self-doubt, and the burden of “mom guilt” that many mothers silently carry. Unrealistic societal expectations, limited support systems, and at times, absent or disengaged spouses or ex-spouses can intensify these challenges. Despite what some cultural norms may imply, parenting is not meant to be a solo endeavor. In Islam, it is a shared responsibility. Marriage is a partnership in which both husband and wife play vital roles in nurturing and raising children. Even when a marital union ends, the duties of father and mother continue. Both are expected to exhibit the leadership qualities that will shape their children’s character and values.
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, taught:
“Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”
(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 7138, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1829)
This powerful hadith uses the analogy of a shepherd, an interesting image that may seem rustic to our modern imaginations, but in reality, is profoundly insightful. The work of a shepherd requires vigilance, care, and incredible patience. Notably, many prophets, including the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), were shepherds before being commissioned as messengers of Allah, which is no coincidence. Abu Huraira reported:
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah did not send any prophet but that he cared for sheep.” The companions asked, “And you as well?” The Prophet said, “Yes. I was a shepherd with a modest wage on behalf of the people of Mecca.” (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 2262)
The job of a shepherd demands the ability to lead with strength and tenderness, managing the needs of each member of the flock while keeping the group moving in the right direction. Such training develops qualities essential for prophetic leadership, which are also necessary for mothers. Like a shepherd tending to a diverse and often unpredictable flock, mothers guide their children with compassion, wisdom, and care. They possess an innate ability to nurture and lead simultaneously, embodying a form of leadership rooted in service. Allah honors mothers beautifully in the Quran when He says:
“We have commanded people to honor their parents. Their mothers bore them in hardship and delivered them in hardship. Their ˹period of˺ bearing and weaning is thirty months. In time, when the child reaches their prime at the age of forty, they pray, ‘My Lord! Inspire me to ˹always˺ be thankful for Your favors which You blessed me and my parents with, and to do good deeds that please You. And instill righteousness in my offspring. I truly repent to You, and I truly submit ˹to Your Will˺.’” (Quran, 46:15)
This verse connects the physical sacrifices of motherhood, like carrying, birthing, and nursing, with a child’s lifelong duty to be grateful and prayerful for their parents. Ibn Kathir explained that this hardship includes the fatigue, sickness, and pain that a woman endures during pregnancy and childbirth. He said that “His mother bears him with hardship” means that the mother suffers hardship because of her child, such as fatigue, sickness, vomiting, heaviness, distress, and other forms of hardship that the pregnant women suffer. And as far as the statement, “And she delivers him with hardship,” it means that she also delivers him with hardship, suffering the pains of labor and their severity (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 46:15).
In this light, mothers are models of servant leadership, a concept deeply rooted in our faith. They lead their children through service, love, and unwavering commitment. Their role models include the righteous women of our tradition: Maryam (Mary), the mother of Jesus (peace be upon them), Aasiyah, the wife of Pharaoh, and the wives and daughters of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Khadijah, the Prophet’s first wife, is remembered not only for her deep faith but for her financial and emotional support of the Prophet at the earliest stages of his mission. Fatima, his daughter, mothered the beloved grandsons Hassan and Husayn, who became leaders in their own right. And Aisha, though she did not give birth to any children, was a spiritual mother for the whole Muslim community. She became a renowned scholar and a trusted source of knowledge for generations.
The modern theory of “servant leadership” echoes this same timeless wisdom. Management consultant Robert K. Greenleaf introduced the term in his 1970 essay The Servant as Leader, writing:
“The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead… The best test… is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they… become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants?”
(Greenleaf.org)
Greenleaf’s philosophy finds resonance in the Islamic worldview. As Muslims, we understand ourselves first as servants of Allah. From that servitude springs leadership, especially for women in their role as wives and mothers. Allah says:
“And righteous women are devoutly obedient and, when alone, protective of what Allah has entrusted them with…” (Quran, 4:34)
As Greenleaf suggested, the servant-leader is one who serves first and aspires to lead only to uplift those they serve. This leadership style focuses on meeting the needs of others so they can grow emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually into independent and compassionate individuals. The righteous Muslim mother embodies this model intuitively. She nurtures her children not for recognition or authority, but out of sincere devotion to Allah and love for her family. Her influence reaches far beyond daily caregiving; she cultivates character, instills values, and lays the foundation for future generations to serve others. In this way, her leadership does not end in the home but radiates into the broader community through the hearts and actions of her children.
The Muslim mother exemplifies servant-leadership in its most impactful form. Her influence begins in the home but extends far beyond it, shaping the moral and spiritual compass of the next generation. By modeling resilience, patience, and unwavering faith, she instills in her children the tools to become leaders themselves. Her selfless devotion plants seeds of goodness that will blossom into lasting contributions to family, community, and society. The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him.”
(Sunan Ibn Mājah 237).
A mother can secure each of these legacies by raising righteous children, teaching beneficial knowledge, and offering tireless service to her family. Even the daily, often unseen labor of cooking, cleaning, and guiding is a form of ongoing charity for Allah's sake. Yet too often, mothers are not recognized as leaders; that title is frequently reserved for fathers or public figures. In truth, countless women lead with strength and grace within their homes and communities. Leadership in Islam is not about status or visibility; it is earned through sincere service and sacrifice. Allah honors His righteous servants based on their faith and deeds, not their gender. For all these reasons and more, the wisdom and sacrifices of Muslim mothers deserve to be honored, studied, and celebrated, not just on special occasions, but as paradigms of faithful leadership and lasting impact.
Bio: Wendy Díaz is a Puerto Rican Muslim writer, award-winning poet, translator, and mother of six (ages ranging from toddler to teen). She co-founded Hablamos Islam, a non-profit organization that produces educational resources about Islam in Spanish (hablamosislam.org). She has written, illustrated, and published over a dozen children’s books and lives with her family in Maryland. Follow Wendy Díaz on social media @authorwendydiaz and @hablamosislam.
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