The Quran and Sunnah on the elderly |

The Quran and Sunnah on the elderly


“Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect, or scold them, but say a generous word to them. And act humbly to them in mercy, and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy on them, since they cared for me when I was small” (17: 23-24).


The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children, nor honor the elderly" (Al-Tirmidhi).

Narrated Abu Musa al-Ash'ari: The Prophet said: Glorifying Allah involves showing honor to a grey-haired Muslim and to one who can expound the Quran, but not to one who acts extravagantly regarding it, or turns away from it, and showing honor to a just ruler (Sunan Abu Dawud).

Narrated Abu Bakrah: The Prophet said: There is no sin more fitted to have punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He stores up for him in the next world than oppression and severing ties of relationship. (Sunan Abu Dawud).

Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Prophet said: Those who do not show mercy to our young ones and do not realize the right of our elders are not from us (Sunan Abu Dawud).

The Prophet said: He does not belong to us who does not show mercy to our young ones and respect to our old ones, who does not recommend what is reputable and prohibit what is disreputable (Tirmidhi).

Narrated Abu Hurayrah: Allah's Apostle said: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: Allah's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise. (Sahih Muslim).

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: Allah's Apostle said: The finest act of goodness is the kind treatment of a person to the loved ones of his father after his death (Sahih Muslim).

Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Apostle of Allah said: Do not pluck out grey hair. If any believer grows a grey hair in Islam, he will have light on the Day of Resurrection. (This is Sufyan's version). Yahya's version says: Allah will record on his behalf a good deed for it, and will blot out a sin for it (Sunan Abu Dawud).

Photo Attribution:  Amr Fayez  -


I’m the biggest sister and we are five, and the middle sister provokes me a lot and since I’m the biggest I get the blames and since I got up this morning since yesterday I wasn’t myself, normally I’m calm, but everyone started to provoke me or upsetting me, so I had enough. sometime they make me feel like i want nothing for myself or I don't like myself because of all of the provoking they turn my parent image my parent had of me. Sometimes when they provoke me I feel like leaving because my duties as being the oldest aren't accepted in my home. what also makes me so hurt is that when i try to defend myself, it's like they all want to make me feel at fault. for example when I usually sit a peaceful day enjoying with my parent my sister always provokes me. hamdulila for on the week I go to school for a long day. And every time  I feel like I want to cry.  


united states

oh hon, I feel so much care for you. I am making dua that Allah has made things easier for you. That you have people who really see you, respect and honor you, and that you care cared for. 


washington DC

V good if still the are the means plz inform iam fond of it



I am a 13 year old with limited free time so I try to use it as much as I can. But when I do, I still do have homework left. I try finish my homework. When my parents see me do my school homework, they get angry because I do not finish it earlier. This is because I have a Specialized High School Admissions Test. I try to study afterwards my school homework. When they yell at me, it makes me furious and spout disrespect to them because I only have free time after school and I can lose my free time. What can I do to be humble to them?


Bronx, New York, U.S.

Some kids could finished their homework because they are born with fast movement and high IQ. Each kids has different level of IQ. Few may needs sometimes to understand the homework or movement may be “slow” ( example: trying to make handwriting better , this will takes longer time. Some kids wanted to make it perfect, this may takes time. ) . I know it is hard to please parent that doesn’t understand what you have gone through. Parent may reckless when they see something that worried them. This is because they protect you , they wanted you to be better than them . And probably that is the only way they know or react because it is happened to them when they were young kids. Any possible you complete your homework somewhere peaceful place? May be at school or teacher place or trusted friends ( friends that loved study. Not those love to play or spending time for unsuitable stuff) .



You should try to keep your temper and try not to bubble over. Try to explain to your parents what’s happening and pray to Allah for guidence. Good luck.



One of the elder member of my family is being a dictator to us. She is an old lady ( not my mom) who is a person known to the quran and rights of old people but is extremely harsh on all of us. She scolds us too much and even hits if we play in the house.One day she shouted , yelled and abused us badly. After that we stopped going to her and the next day she created a nuisance that the children of this house are so proud that they can't even come and say sorry . What was our mistake ? Why should we say sorry when we didn't do anything? She said all this to my mom and was totally in tears... All the family members were amazed to see such behavior of the ols lady and all were very sad! She spoiled the mood of each member of the house..and she did all this while she was fasting. She shouted,yelled,hit and used abusive words for us. Is her behavior correct ? What should I do, should I answer back or sit quietly

Assalammualaikum Sis. I understand your experience. My children experience that whenever they visited grandma but the problem is not the grandma but uncle ( my brother). He will yell if my kids running around etc etc just like yours.
I researched that kind of behaviour:
- when he / she was young kid , he/ she was “active “ like non stop jumping, always disturb other kids, always scolding others, do naughty behaviour etc. Mostly this happen to youngest siblings in the family. And his/her mother always at his/ her sides ( never scold/ always treat this young sibling “special treatment “. So when this person grown up, he/she behaves like a bos , always seen small matter is a big matter , everyone doing right is wrong ( because from young he/she doing was never be corrected by mother) . Friends or workers may avoided him/her , so he/she has been lonely trough out his/her life. So anything noisy is a bad for him/ her. Also it may because of taking some drug medication will make it worst. Here in Canada it is legal to take weed / hemp as medication. Personally this does not help much . He/ she may become aggressive and may out of control and may cause injuries or kill. 20 years ago, he was holding a bat ( baseball stick) wanted to hit me but luckily my mom stop. 15 years ago , he hold my front shirt and wanted to punch . Luckily my friend was around and stop it. And it happens frequently. To protect my children, the only way is to stay away from him . Problem is we need to accompany my mom ( grandma ). I don’t feel safe whenever I am in mother house. As usual my mom will still defensive him. After many searches, finally found a solution. Recite /read Surah Yassin but there is step by step to do it. If you are Muslim and interested to know you can contact me in my email ( pls don’t sent any link. I won’t click it. ) . In Shaa Allah , he/she will improve.



Assalamu alaikum
Im a girl from Denmark thats 14 years old. I have a little brother on 11, who has No respect for Me. He treat me like I am younger than him and he watches dirty movies, and yet I doesn't listen. And my parents have totally give up on him, because he doesn't have respect. They don't think that it's serious.




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