The diagnosis has been confirmed, the shock, surprise, hurt or anguish has hit and now the family sits quietly reflecting on their new reality. The family is a community within itself and if any part of the family is in pain, then the whole family feels the hurt.
As in all things we have the life example of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to serve as a guide for us in all affairs. In the Holy Quran, we refer to a surah revealed in Makkah that was sent to offer comfort to the Prophet (saw) during a time when he was under emotional distress and heavy opposition.
Did We not expand for you, your breast
And removed from you your burden
Which weighed upon your back
And raised high for you your reputation
For indeed, with hardship comes ease
Indeed with hardship ease
So when you have finished, labor hard
And to your Lord direct longing
Surah As Shahr 94: 1-8
From this chapter of the Holy Quran we learn many things
- Every human being – including the prophet (SAW) experiences hardship
- Hardship and trials are coupled with ease
- Allah alone relieves those things that lay heavy on the heart
- We should turn to Allal during times of trial and distress
- Allah can return us to our former condition if it is His will
- Whatever happens in our life, we should still labor hard in service to Allah
Families that are supporting each other during breast cancer diagnosis are assured, some sort of ease will come. In Islam, ease or yusr means that we will have outcomes that are achievable and which adapt to our needs.
We must also recognize that ease can be physical, mental or spiritual or a combination of all three. The key is that families move forward after the diagnosis with patience, strength and purposeful action
Ibn 'Abbas narrated that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said to the Ashajj 'Abdul-Qais:
"Indeed there are two traits in you that Allah loves: Forbearance, and deliberateness."
Sahih, Tirmidhi
Achieving ease requires actions that help bring it about.
Begin with Du’a
During the prophetic age, when believers faced illness, the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would bring ease to the afflicted by visiting them, touching the patient or the area of concern with his right hand and making the following du’a for intercession:
O Allah, Lord of mankind, remove the hardship and grant healing. You are the Healer, there is no healing but Yours, a healing that leaves no illness behind.
Kind Acts
Kindness is a reflection of faith, intention and a charity provided to another. Kindness within the family, especially during times of trial and emotional distress is one of the most powerful mitigating factors members can provide for each other.
The companion Abu Hurairah (ra) narrated that the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught the believers: "Whoever relieves a Muslim of a burden from the burdens of the world, Allah will relieve him of a burden from the burdens of the Hereafter… “
Timirdhi 1425
- Consideration – cancer patients, especially those receiving chemotherapy typical experience associated side effects – nausea and extreme tiredness. Family members can be considerate of the patient and not expect their participation in all things on the same level. A family member diagnosed with cancer may need to perform their salah laying down, eat in bed or be relieved from family chores.
- Listen – a family member under physical and emotional distress may express their discomfort. To do so, may be stressful, but when offered other family members need to both listen and respond to what is being shared about how they feel or requests for assistance, they may make. This eases feelings of being overburdened.
- Routine – the established routines in the household can be upheld by other family members so as not to burden the patient or ease an atmosphere of anxiety or extreme change.
- Tasks – the family can come together and manage the typical household tasks that the patient may typically be responsible for. These may be errands, grocery shopping, paying bills, going to the pharmacy, cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning the house etc. that can be taken over by another family member or divided amongst the members. The key is to do so happily with patience and the intention to bring ease and peace of mind that things are not falling apart.
- Companionship – a cancer diagnosis is distressing regardless of its level of progression. Family members enduring this trial benefit from the emotional support of others when they are at their appoints or during chemo infusions. A quiet, reassuring presence brings ease to the heart.
- Resourcefulness – teach family members to note and how to respond to warning signs that the diagnosed member is in distress. This may manifest through extreme quietness, withdrawal or physical distress through dehydration, excessive nausea, weakness or pain. Keep necessary emergency contact numbers. Keep family members informed about medical conditions to respond to. Plan in advance to ease any panic or hysteria.
End with du’a
Regardless of whether the family member afflicted is the mother, grandmother, aunt, sister or a male, end each day with the du’a asking for Allah to have mercy upon them. This involves the family making a collective du’a during prayer time and remember Surah Al-Isra 17:24 which is a du’a Muslims make for their parents
My Lord! Be merciful to them as they raised me when I was small
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Author bio: Mahasin D. Shamsid-Deen is the news curator and content manager for Muslim Network TV (MNTV) and contributing writer for Sound Vision. She holds a master’s degree in English writing and has worked as both a High School and College ESL Instructor and Writing Instructor for more than a decade. Mahasin has numerous published articles, books, essays and is a published playwright with three award winning stage plays. She is currently writing her dissertation for her doctoral degree.
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