Friends are valuable and a good friend lasts a lifetime. A friend protects, guards and enhances our Iman, is trustworthy, honestly critical and discerning of our shortcomings and helps us to be better people overall. These qualities remind us of the character of the sahabah of the Seerah. The root of the Arabic word sahaba comes from the tri-literal root ṣ-ḥ-b, which means to keep company, associate with or accompany.
The sahaba were the family members, companions and friends of the Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, who were alive with him and died in a state of Islam. His interaction with them serves as examples of how to interact and love each other and the Muslim community.
The prophetic example
There is no better company for us to seek than our family and friends. As we seek the good things in this life – healthy, tasty food, refreshing drink, pleasing scents in our environment and gentle touches of our loved ones – so too do we find value in friendship. Friendship can be a sweet and satisfying enrichment to our lives. Thus, there is great value in keeping and having good friendship, especially with those who remind and call us to the Deen. The prophet Muhammad, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, gives us this parable on friendship:
“The similitude of a good friend and a bad friend is like a perfume seller and a blacksmith. The perfume seller might gift you perfumes, or you might buy it from him, or you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might burn your clothes, or you might breathe the repugnant smell.”
(Sahih Bukhari & Sahih Muslim)
In the history of Islam, we learn that the prophet Muhammad, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, spent his early childhood in the desert with his wet nurse, Halimah Saadia. There he played with his foster siblings.
As a married man, the prophet Muhammad on at least two occasion was known to have raced on foot with his wife Aisha on foot, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him. He won a race and she won a race. (Sunan Abi Dawud 2578)
As a grandfather, he often let his grandsons Hasan and Husain ride on his shoulders and said “Hasan and Husain are my two sweet basils in this world.” (Bukhari 3758). In another, he supplicated: “O Allah, I love them, so love them and love whoever loves them.” (Tirmidhi, 3733)
This display of love and playfulness was not solely for the male members of his family, as Prophet Muhammad was also reported to have carried his granddaughter Umamah bint Zainab on his shoulders while leading the congregation in prayer, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him (Bukhari 516).
There are many examples of the prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, acting playfully with children in the Muslim community. Mahmud ibn Ar-Rubu reported being playfully splashed by water by the Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, when he was a young child. (Sahih Bukhari, Kitab al-ilm, 77) Other reports share how he patted the cheeks and laughed with children after returning from prayer (Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-fadail, 2329) Umm Khalid bint Saeedra, from Abyssinia, reported how she went to play with him when she was just a child, and when her father told her stop, the Prophet told him to let her continue to play and even spoke to her in her own language to set her at ease, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him.
Usama ibn Zayd ibn Haritha al-Kalbi was a young Muslim and companion. He was the son of Zayd ibn Haritha and Barakah bint Thaalaba (Umm Ayman), respectively the adopted son and lifelong companion, servant and mother figure to the Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him. The Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, played with Usama when he was little, often seating him on is thigh right next to his grandson. Their companionship continued well into his teenage years where the Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, gave Usama military command at only 17 years of age, demonstrating how friendship can start in childhood and continue to the teen years and beyond. It also demonstrates a lifetime of love, trust, mutual respect and friendship.
The prophet’s friendship, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, extended beyond family and children of the ummah. Imam Jalal al-Din al-Suyuti reported on the authority of Abdullah Ibn Abbas that once the Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, and the companions went to a stream of water to play. The Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, was reported to have instructed those present to swim towards their friend which they did until only he himself and Abu Bakr remained. Here the Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, said: "Here I am with my friend”.
Takeaways
The aforementioned examples are a guide for us all.
- Our first friendships are within the family at all ages from infancy to senior citizen
- The play within family is affectionate and tender
- The play within the family can be seen by our neighbors
- Siblings – related, foster, bonus etc. play together
- Spouses enjoy each other’s company and companionship
- Parents interact with children with tenderness, love and pleasing behavior
- Grandparents are integral to the family and connect with the children
- Friends outside of the family are encouraged and enriched
- Friendship can involve playful activities, sports and worship
- Friends in the deen are the best and most loved
- Friends come in all ages, genders and positions in life
- Friendship should last for a lifetime
Author bio: Mahasin D. Shamsid-Deen is the news curator and content manager for Muslim Network TV (MNTV) and contributing writer for Sound Vision. She holds a Master’s degree in English Writing and has worked as both a High School and College ESL Instructor and Writing Instructor for more than a decade. Mahasin has numerous published articles, books, essays and is a published playwright with three award winning stage plays. She is currently writing her dissertation for her doctoral degree
Related:
(1) Bringing the Seerah into Family Life
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