Friends are valuable and a good friend lasts a lifetime. A friend protects, guards and enhances our Iman, is trustworthy, honestly critical and discerning of our shortcomings and helps us to be better people overall. These qualities remind us of the character of the sahabah of the prophetic age. The root of the Arabic word sahaba comes from the tri-literal root ṣ-ḥ-b, which means to keep company, associate with or accompany.
The sahaba of the prophet age were the family members, companions and friends of the prophet (pbuh) who were alive with him and died in a state of Islam. His interaction with them serves as examples of how to interact and love each other and the Muslim community.
The prophetic example
There is no better company for us to seek than our family and friends. As we seek the good things in this life – healthy, tasty food, refreshing drink, pleasing scents in our environment and gentle touches of our loved ones – so too do we find value in friendship. Friendship can be a sweet and satisfying enrichment to our lives. Thus, there is great value in keeping and having good friendship, especially with those who remind and call us to the Deen. The prophet Muhammad (pbuh) gives us this parable on friendship:
“The similitude of a good friend and a bad friend is like a perfume seller and a blacksmith. The perfume seller might gift you perfumes, or you might buy it from him, or you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might burn your clothes, or you might breathe the repugnant smell.”
(Sahih Al-Bukhari & Muslim)
In the history of Islam, we learn that the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) spent his early childhood in the desert with his wet nurse, Halimah Al-Sa’diyah. There he played with his foster siblings.
As a married man, the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) on at least two occasion was known to have raced on foot with his wife Aisha (RA) on foot. He won a race and she won a race. (Sunan Abi Dawud 2578)
As a grandfather, he often let his grandsons Hasan (RA) and Hussain (RA) ride on his shoulders and said “Hasan and Husayn are my two sweet basils in this world.” (Bukhari, Hadith 3758). In another, he supplicated: “O Allah, I love them, so love them and love whoever loves them.” (Tirmidhi, Hadith 3733
This display of love and playfulness was not solely for the male members of his family, as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was also reported to have carried his granddaughter Umamah bint Zainab on his shoulders while leading the congregation in prayer (Sahih al Bukhari, Hadith 516).
There are many examples reported in Sahih of the prophet (pbuh) acting playfully with children in the Muslim community. Mahmud ibn Ar-Rubu‘ reported being playfully splashed by water by Rasullah (saw) when he was a young child. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-‘ilm, Hadith 77) Other reports share how Rasullah (saw) patted the cheeks and laughed with children after returning from prayer (Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-fada’il, Hadith 2329) Umm Khalid ibn Sa’eedra, from Abyssinia, reported how she went to play with Rasullah (saw) when she was just a child, and when her father told her stop, the prophet (pbuh) told him to let her continue to play and even spoke to her in her own language to set her at ease.
Usama ibn Zayd ibn Haritha al-Kalbi was a young Muslim and companion. He was the son of Zayd ibn Haritha, Muhammad's(pbuh) adopted son {adopted before prophethood], and Barakah bint Tha'labah (Umm Ayman) a lifelong companion, servant and mother figure to the prophet (pbuh). The prophet (pbuh) played with Usama when he was little often seating him on is thigh right next to his grandson. Their companion continued well into his teen years where the prophet (pbuh) gave Usama military command at only 17 years of age, demonstrating how friendship can start in childhood and continue to the teen years and beyond. It also demonstrates a lifetime of love, trust, mutual respect and friendship.
The prophet’s friendship extended beyond family and children of the ummah. Jalal al-Din al-Suyuti, or al-Suyuti, of the 10th century, considered mujtahid (learned in legal reasoning jurisprudence) and mujaddid (learned in spiritual matters) reported on the authority of Ibn Abbas (first cousin and companion to Rasullah (SAW)) that once the prophet (pbuh) and the companions went to a stream of water to play. The prophet (pbuh) was reported to have instructed those present to swim towards their friend which they did until only the prophet (pbuh) himself and Abu Bakr remained. Here the prophet (pbuh) said "Here I am with my friend”.
Takeaways
The aforementioned examples are a guide for us all.
- Our first friendships are within the family at all ages from infancy to senior citizen
- The play within family is affectionate and tender
- The play within the family can be seen by our neighbors
- Siblings – related, foster, bonus etc. play together
- Spouses enjoy each other’s company and companionship
- Parents interact with children with tenderness, love and pleasing behavior
- Grandparents are integral to the family and connect with the children
- Friends outside of the family are encouraged and enriched
- Friendship can involve playful activities, sports and worship
- Friends in the deen are the best and most loved
- Friends come in all ages, genders and positions in life
- Friendship should last for a lifetime
Author bio: Mahasin D. Shamsid-Deen is the news curator and content manager for Muslim Network TV (MNTV) and contributing writer for Sound Vision. She holds a Master’s degree in English Writing and has worked as both a High School and College ESL Instructor and Writing Instructor for more than a decade. Mahasin has numerous published articles, books, essays and is a published playwright with three award winning stage plays. She is currently writing her dissertation for her doctoral degree
Add new comment