A 12-step guide to fight pornography addiction

Pornography consumption is not something that can easily be stopped. Once the appetite for it has developed, it actually increases.

In his 1988 study Pornography Effects: Empirical and Clinical Evidence, Victor Cline, then with the University of Utah's Department of Psychology noted that studies show pornography is progressive and addictive for many. It often leads to the user acting out his fantasy - often on children.

For those who have been trained from a young age to lower their gaze and practice Islamic principles of modesty, this may not even be an issue.

But for those who have sadly fallen into pornography addiction, there is a way out.

Alcoholics' Anonymous is an organization that has fought the battle against alcohol addiction since 1935. Its "Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous" provides a clear, general guide on how to get out of the addiction of alcohol, which has killed people, ruined families and led to health problems.

Sound Vision has adapted the 12 steps from this guide to offer some guidance on how those addicted to pornography can get out of it.

Step One-Admit that you can't give up

Admit that you are unable to get a grip on your consumption of pornography. It is uncontrollable. Every time you turn on the internet, go to the video store, turn on the television, you cannot say NO to yourself. You cannot NOT surf porn sites, or stop watching. You are no longer in control of your life.

Step Two-Admit only God can get you out of this

You know, after trying using so many different ways to control your addiction and subsequently failing, that only Allah can help you out of this. You may have known it before, but you are convinced of it now without a shadow of a doubt.

Step Three-Your life and death are all in Allah's control

You have decided to put your complete trust in Allah, who is in control of all aspects of your life and your death. You have chosen to seek His Help first and foremost.

Step Four-You have completed a self-analysis

You have done an honest, sincere, but often painful self-evaluation of your good points and bad points, analyzed your addiction, and tried to understand how you reached this point.

Step Five-Made a specific repentance to Allah

You have admitted to Allah, to yourself, and to another trusted Muslim (if possible) exactly where you went wrong. You did not make a general request for repentance. You specifically listed your mistakes, and in particular, your addiction to pornography.

Step Six-You were open and ready to receive Allah's help to change

You know that your Tawbah (repentence to God) and being sincere, must be followed by action. You are ready to do what is necessary to change, no matter how difficult or painful. Even if it means not even watching television for the news or never surfing the internet alone.

Step Seven- You have asked for the removal of faults

You have asked Allah, with sincerity, humility and regret, to help you never repeat this action (i.e. looking at pornography) again and to help you avoid repeating sins committed in the past again.

Step Eight-You have decided to seek others' forgiveness

You have made a list of everyone you had hurt through your addiction, whether it was your spouse, children or parents, and made the intention to approach them seeking forgiveness. You must not, however, disclose your addiction since whatever Allah has kept hidden must remain hidden. You just seek forgiveness for any possible act of harm and hurt. Allah does not like a sin to be advertised.

Step Nine-Seek forgiveness of God

Seek the forgiveness and protection of Allah. Do sadaqah (charity) and fast as kaffarah if possible.

Step Ten-You have completed nightly self-evaluations

You continually, every night, have done an honest self-evaluation of your behavior, and were ready to admit your mistakes and thank Allah for the good you did that day.

Step Eleven-You have prayed for greater God-consciousness

You prayed and continue to pray five times a day, seeking closeness to Allah, and a consciousness of Him (Taqwa) wherever you are. You increase your reliance on Him to help you with this addiction to pornography and with all other matters in your life.

Step Twelve-You preached and practiced

You have not just "moved on" after Allah blessed you to get out of this addiction. You helped others you knew with this problem with regular contact and  sincere advice. By the grace of Allah, helping others helped you maintain control over your addiction and you helped another person get out of this destruction and misery.

Comments

assalaamu alaikum warahmaullah,Masha'Allah!, i rate this article very much because i have been looking for someone to help me for so long, but alhamdulilah by the grace of allah you have put this article up to help the muslim ummah. i am 14 years old and i have memorized 20 aj'zaa of the holy qur'aan alhamdulilah. that is the reason why i was so desperate to find out how to get out of this pornography addiction because it has been affecting my hifdh-ul-qur'aan. may allah (swt) reward the brothers and sisters running this site abbunduntly and grant us all tawfeeq to do righteous deeds and to save us all from the filthy acts of shaytaan.jazaakumullahu khairan,wassalaamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Location

London

Verily the shaitan is man's enemy and is most resourceful. I have recently combatted a pornography addiction that had plagued me for 7 years, since age 14. To those who are addicted: always turn to Allah for forgiveness. The shaitan is powerful in distorting man's sense of reality and can make utter filth become appealing. But the secret to success is to continue asking for repentance, for he who becomes complacent will fail.

Location

London

all praise be to allah i to fell into the trap hole for about four months and stopped praying thought it was hpocrosy when doing sin but was wrong the only way to remember is your lord allah he is the one who can help you if if you fell the trap ask him sincerly and he will be there for youglory be to allah

Location

uk

Well insa allah I will try to follow directions. I fell prey to it one year ago and also started masturbating. I felt I had to stop praying and thought i was a hypocrite when I was doing good stuff in front of others.

Location

Unavailable

Assalamualaikum wrb. With Ramadhan less than a week away I am so glad I have found salvation at last in the form of the articles perscribed here. Insya Allah, I will forward this link to as many mailing list I can find coz there are many out there who are trying to free themselves from the tectacles of pornography. Thank you and may Allah swt reward those who have created this website. Jazakallahu Khairan Kasirah.

Location

Singapore

Bismillahi Arhman Al-Raheem. I am greatly thankful to Allah (SWT) that I have come across this website and was able to apply the 12 steps in order to start my new life without pornography. I have never left a prayer in my life, I have memorized much of the Quran and I have read and still reading many islamic books, but I always had this addiction for porn in me. No one in my life ever knew about it and I'm now quitting it without anyone knowing I had that problem. Its been the hardest 2 years of my life and I'm now 20 years. I felt like a hypocrite with all the good things I did and all the worshipping to Allah (swt). I strongly encourage every one who has this problem to never loose hope in Allah's infinite Mercy and to perform sincere repentence and follow the 12 steps in this website. Jazakum Allahu Khiran to those that felt the need to put up such a website as porn addiction is indeed a big problem for today's Muslim youth. Wasalamu alikum

Location

Dunia

Thank you for this. Insha'Allah this will help lots of Muslims around the globe to rid themselves of a haraam which has been so difficult for them to control. Most importantly, it is key that we remember Allah (swt), for only He can forgive us for our sins we commit.

Location

I am 38 years old, I have 2 kids,im a teacher. I always try to pray. But I am addicted to the filth of pornography, and I absolutly hate it. I always ask Allah to rid me of this evil, but it comes back to haunt me. Its like taking some hard drug, you know its killing you, but you carry on. May Allah save me from the filth thats been haunting me for 14 years.

Location

london

I am 15 years old and I have just decided today that I am going to stop seeing pornography for good - I have been addicted for 2 years now and even started masturbating. I decide right here and now to stop both. Pray for me - jazakallah kheirun wassalaamu alaikum.

Location

Iowa

The 12 steps are very helpful and benificial. I just had a comment that according to one of the steps, you make a list of those you hurt and approach them for forgiveness. Well, if approaching for forgiveness means to tell them first that you were addicted and then asking for forgiveness, this is wrong. You don't have to disclose your past actions if they only circulate around you. Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) recommended to seek Allah's cover of your bad deeds and not to disclose bad deeds to others. Empirically, confession can hurt you in that case because the damage will be much bigger than your ability to fix, when your wife discovers your addiction, or your children know about it. Keep if for yourself brother or sister and work on it secretly and quietly. May Allah provide his protection and help to all of us. Amen

Location

Pages

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