How to treat your wife in islam quotes? Although many Muslim Husband and Wife relationships may right now be in failing and on a fast track to divorce and its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if they are sincere in their desire to reconcile thier husband wife relationship. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marriages are already in trouble or by Muslims who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage.
Examples of Negative Muslim Husband Wife Relationship
Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family.
Marriage In The Eyes of Allah
It is very sad that this husband wife relationship which Allah has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.
Allah described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran: '. . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . " (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).
1. Do not be a Tyrant
Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi). In the khutba hajjatul wida, Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) clearly stated how men should treat their wives.
2. Be Partners in the Decision Making Process
Follow the principle of 'Shura," and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.
3. Never be Abusive
Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: 'How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?"
4. Be Careful of Your Words
Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.
5. Show Affection
Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.
5. Be Your Spouse's Friend
Show interest in your mate's life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other's lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could perhaps establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class to better their husband wife relationship.
6. Show Appreciation
Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband." (where is this hadith found) Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don't take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated.
7. Work Together in the House
The Prophet is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn't feel that they are.
8. Communication is Important
Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.
9. Forget Past Problems
Don't bring up past problems once they have been solved.
10. Live Simply
Don't be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The 'rizq" is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.
11. Give Your Spouse Time Alone
If your mate doesn't want to be with you all the time, it doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you. People need to be alone for various reasons. Sometimes they want to read, to think about their problems, or just to relax. Don't make them feel that they are committing a sin.
12. Admit Your Mistakes
When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.
13. Physical Relationship is Important
Be available to your mate sexually, and don't let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet was reported to have said: 'It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a beast but you must send a message of love beforehand."
14. Have Meals Together
Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the wife, appreciation for his or her efforts. The Prophet did not complain about food that was put before him.
15. Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics
Never discuss with others things about your marriage that your spouse wouldn't like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some husbands and wives, believe it or not, complain to others about their mate's physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster of husband wife relationship. Information about your intimate relations should be kept between you and your spouse.
Many of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never treat others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and patient. With our spouses, we often do not show these courtesies. Of course, we are usually with our spouses at our worst times --- when we are tired and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at the office, husbands usually come home angry and on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and the housework. Wives and husbands should discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will understand the reasons rather than automatically thinking that their spouse no longer loves them.
Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner. This is how to treat your wife in islam.
Comments
Maybe I have no right commenting on this board. I am not muslim, but simply came across this website when doing a search for something else.However, now that I've been here and seen what you've written, I feel like I can't leave without complimenting you for a thorough, considerate, and wonderful article.This isn't just good advice for an Islamic marriage. It's good advice for any marriage. I hope more people outside the Islamic community find this webpage.At a time when so many people seem to misunderstand your traditions and your core beliefs, such compasionate and carefully considered advice would go a long way to teaching the rest of us what real Islam can be. Thanks for such a thoughtful piece.Best wishes,JF
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i recently got engaged, so i thought of reading good things that'll help me in future. And i found this very nice effort. I also inform u all that chatting is also a thing that is restricted in Islam, coz by doing that we fulfil ouur desires. If u r able 2 control ur desires n wait 4 the right time, u'll be the most liked person by Allah, May allah bless us all and guide us on the right path.
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assalam alykum,may ALLAH in His infinite mercy enrich the author of this beutiful write up.am about to get married an i believe this is a googd way to start my new life with my parter.
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great advice! however, more needs to be done to keep people from manipulating the tenets of islam for thier own selfish desires. like my religion, i have seen abusive, obsessive men manipulate the standards of religion to trap women, to beat women, and to characterize anything different as sin or worse. i have muslim friends and many of the women are treated terrible. this is not to say that Islam is bad, rather the selfishness of men who proclaim islamic standards in order to keep a woman in fear and terror is what the problem is. any idealism can be-and throughout history has been- used to justify horrible atrocities on so many peoples. i hope this forum will put more focus on the domestic violence issues that pervade islamic families as well as christian, jewish, and secular families. its an epidemic and dont think that muslims are immune because they are not. i am always shocked when a violent man who beats his wife uses the quran to justify this behavior. i have seen it. as a christian, i was disappointed to see this in my religion as well. this is why there is such thing as divorce. men are given the benefit of the doubt in all religions as head of the house, but often abuse this title to thier own gain. Allah is in heaven shaking his head in frustration on how so many abusers use Him to justify thier own selfish, abusive attitudes towards their women. when will the true nature of domestic violence in all faiths -and non faiths- be addressed honestly? all things and all standards are used to trap a woman and keep her in a living hell while the man confuses the issue with his so called religious justification of his behavior. i mean, what chance does the woman have if she is being publicly viewed as a sinner for all his false accusations? i know that as musliims you all dont want to be viewed as terrorists. yet like christians you falsely accuse others different than you and even those within your faith. i mean how else can they be controlled, right? i have learned that islam is no better than christianity. if it were, i would become one immediately. i am sad to see the lessons i have learned from growing up in a christian family have not been improved upon in the islamic faith. may Allah show you the true destroyer of all faiths and all people-the deceiver who uses a faith to torment his family. for as much as women are charcterized negatively its really the man who often does this so that he may keep her for eternal torment. thinkits not true? look into it and you will see that domestic violence is often justified through all our standards and so many live in fear yet have to be good muslims or christians or whatever. take the honest road. talk about the truth about the ills of domestic violence. it is the biggest threat to yours and all faiths. in fact it is the biggest problem in society as a whole. make Islam the standard for changing this epidemic and i will join Islam in a heartbeat!
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For Elizabeth Ali, I pray that God helps you through all the pain you have undergone in this world so that you may be patient, faithful to God alone, and retain something much more permanent in the next life. Ameen. With many prayers.
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The article is simply written but conveys a very important message. It helps me to reflect from time to time on relationship with my wife. Jaza kumu llahul khairun.
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I must say Jazakumlla Khaira to the author of this article, for his/her effort in bringing sanity to marriages around the world. I have been married for about 2years now and i have never enjoyed a week of happy marriage. But, Alhamdulillahi, after implementing all i have read in this article, my marriage life changed instantly, honestly i can not beleive that marriage can be this intresting. Thank you, Assalamu-Alaikum.
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Asaalamu Alaikum. Beautifully written! In the name of Islam, we need to see many more articles such as this to highlight the religion in the positive light that it so truly deserves. As a new Muslim, I believe that regardless of culture, or religion, this guidance needs to be shared with ALL people entering marriage.
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Thank you. I'm planning to get married soon, so the article has been most helpful.
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Very good, This has really allowed me to reflect upon myself. I am a christian, but am studing the ways of Islam. I see the need for my self reflection and correct my response and treatment of my wife, who I want to learn how to love more dearly and respect properly.
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