As parents, we know that having a peaceful home is nearly impossible with busy children plowing through our living space. In any location that houses little people, noise, toys, crumbs, crayons, and messes abound. However, this does not mean that we cannot have a peace-filled home. The difference between the two is that peace-filled does not necessarily mean quiet, but rather a place where we can find comfort despite the commotion and pandemonium that often comes with parenthood.
Luckily, our very faith is grounded on peace. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Verily, peace is among the names of Allah He has placed on the earth, so spread it between yourselves. If a man greets people with peace and they answer him, he is favored a degree over them as he has reminded them. If they do not answer him, he is answered by angels who are better and purer than them.”
(Al-Mujam al-Kabir)
The word peace is an essential part of our vocabulary as Muslims – we greet each other with peace, we send peace and blessings upon our Prophet, and more importantly, we call upon Allah, Who is As-Salam, The Source of Peace. Therefore, we can turn to Islam to find the answers we need when seeking to fill our homes with peace.
Here are some of the ingredients from the Quran and Sunnah that we need to create the peace-filled atmosphere we want at home:
1. Spread the greetings of peace.
It almost goes without saying that one of the ways that we can achieve a peace-filled environment is to spread the greeting of peace amongst ourselves. When we say, “As salaamu alaikum,” to each other we are literally praying for peace for one another. It is the greeting of all the Prophets and the greeting of the people of Paradise. There is plenty of evidence for this in the Quran such as in Surah Ibrahim where Allah says,
“And those who believed and did righteous deeds will be admitted to gardens beneath which rivers flow, abiding eternally therein by permission of their Lord; and their greeting therein will be, "Peace!"
(Surah Ibrahim, 14:23)
This ultimate greeting of peace should be one of the first things we teach our babies when they begin speaking, so it can become a habit once they are of school-age.
Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, emphasized the importance of spreading the greeting of peace. When he first entered Madinah, Abdullah bin Salam, reported:
“… The people rushed to meet him, and it was said: ‘The Messenger of Allah has come! The Messenger of Allah has come! The Messenger of Allah has come!’ Three times. I came with the people to see him, and when I saw his face clearly, I knew that his face was not the face of a liar. The first thing I heard him say was: ‘O people! Spread (the greeting of) Salam, feed others, uphold the ties of kinship, and pray during the night when people are sleeping, and you will enter Paradise with Salam (Peace).”
These simple words touched the heart of Abdullah ibn Salam, who ended up converting to Islam. May Allah be pleased with him.
Greeting our family with peace when entering our homes is also a recommended act of good Islamic etiquette. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, advised us that:
“When a man enters his house, let him say: ‘O Allah, I asked you for the good of this entrance and exit, in the name of Allah I enter and in the name of Allah I leave, and upon Allah our Lord we rely.’ Then let him greet his family with peace.”
(Abu Dawud)
It benefits us to practice this supplication every time we enter our homes and make it a habit to greet our families in the best way prescribed by Allah and His messenger, the best of mankind, peace and blessings be upon him.
2. Give and receive love.
Peace and love go hand in hand as evidenced by the following saying of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him:
“You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you about something which, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread salam amongst yourselves.
(Muslim, Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi)
When it comes to making our homes peace-filled havens, we must be loving and compassionate caretakers. We should tell our spouses and children that we love them often, show them affection, and pray for them.
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, instructed that
“When a man loves his brother, let him tell him that he loves him.”
(Abu Dawud)
One of the most basic needs of a human being that begins the moment we are born is the need to feel loved. Telling a person that you love them makes them feel good, and researchers have even discovered health benefits related to being loved and showing affection. According to an article in The Beacon from Luminis Health, some of the advantages to being in love or having loving relationships, be it with family or friends, are longevity, decreased stress, and a healthier heart and lungs.
One of the ways we can show our children affection is by kissing them. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, reported:
“A bedouin went to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, ‘You kiss the children? We do not kiss them.’ The Prophet said, ‘I cannot put mercy into your heart if Allah has removed it from you.’”
(Bukhari, Muslim)
He likened the act of kissing to showing mercy because it is the nature of a child to want to be loved. Denying our loved ones our affection is denying them mercy and compassion. If we want them to thrive, we must show them our love. Creating a loving environment is key when it comes to building a peace-filled home.
3. Smile and laugh.
As the popular saying goes, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Just like loving relationships, laughter has many physical and mental health benefits. According to the Mayo Clinic, laughter has short-term and long-term health benefits. It instantaneously activates and relieves our stress response and soothes tension, all the while stimulating many organs and releasing endorphins, the feel-good hormone. In the long-term, laughter can boost our immune system, relieve pain, and improve our mood.
Contrary to some cultural beliefs that call to inhibit our sense of humor, Islam allows its adherents to seek halal fun. Even our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, had a great sense of humor as noted in some hadith narrations. However, he was never excessive, and he warned against uttering lies to make people laugh. He was once asked,
“O Messenger of Allah, do you joke with us?” and he responded, “Verily, I do not say anything but the truth.”
(At-Tirmidhi)
It is encouraged for a believer to always have a cheerful face. Abdullah ibn al-Harith reported:
“I have not seen anyone smile more often than the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him.”
(At-Tirmidhi)
A simple smile can change a person’s mood or outlook. Smiling is also contagious – if we greet our families with a smile each day, we can make them feel safe and at peace.
4. Recite and listen to the Quran.
One of the best ways to fill our homes with peace is by reciting and playing the Quran constantly. Allah says in the Quran:
“(This is) a Book (the Quran) which We have sent down to you, full of blessings, that they may ponder over its verses, and that men of understanding may remember.”
(Surah Sad, 38:29)
The scholar Ibn Sirin, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
“The house in which the Quran is recited is attended by the angels, the devils leave it, its people will be enriched, and their goodness increased.”
(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah)
This is in accordance with the teachings of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, who warned his followers by saying:
"Do not turn your houses into graves. Indeed, Satan runs away from the house in which Surah al-Baqarah is recited."
(Muslim)
The Quran provides both spiritual and physical healing. Allah says:
“And We send down of the Qur'an that which is healing and mercy for the believers…”
(Surah Al-Isra, 17:82)
Listening to the Quran can reduce stress. According to a study published by the Iranian Journal of Nursing and Midwifery Research, listening to Quran recitation was found to be effective in reducing anxiety in various settings. There have been similar studies done in preoperative, psychiatric, and cancer patients. Researchers attempt to prove what Allah has already revealed in the Quran. If we recite and listen to the Quran in our homes, we are providing every member of our family with its blessed healing and stress relief.
5. Engage in daily worship.
It goes without saying that engaging in all sorts of worship like reciting the Quran, praying, fasting, and remembrance, lead to a peace-filled home. There are countless verses in the Quran which testify to the point that worship brings about security, tranquility, and humility. Even if our children are not old enough to pray meaningfully, we should turn to prayer to help us stay calm, collected, and connected to our Creator. Allah says:
“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:153)
Lord knows we need patience as parents!
Prayer also keeps us grounded and away from sins. When we refrain from sinning our souls are at peace and our homes will reflect the state of our souls. Allah says:
“Recite what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, genuine prayer should deter one from indecency and wickedness. The remembrance of Allah is an even greater deterrent. And Allah fully knows what you all do.”
(Surah Al-Ankabut, 29:45)
6. Keep things tidy.
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“Cleanliness is half of faith….”
(Muslim)
A peace-filled home is one that is kept at least somewhat tidy and clean. Depending on how many children we have and their ages, this can be understandably difficult. However, we should strive to, as a minimum, maintain some order within our homes. One of the worst things in a house that destroys our peace of mind is clutter.
Psychologist, Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter, wrote on Psychology Today that there are many reasons why clutter causes anxiety. Among them are the following:
- Clutter bombards our minds with excessive stimuli (visual, olfactory, tactile), causing our senses to work overtime on stimuli that aren't necessary or important.
- Clutter distracts us by drawing our attention away from what our focus should be on.
- Clutter makes it more difficult to relax, both physically and mentally.
- Clutter constantly signals to our brains that our work is never done.
- Clutter makes us anxious because we're never sure what it's going to take to get through to the bottom of the pile.
Dr. Carter also highlighted some of the ways we can declutter. One of them is to get your whole family involved and organize things one room at a time. Begin with one space and once that is complete, move on to the next. She also suggested to get rid of items that you do not use, want, or need. Just making small changes in a home and cleaning can create a peace-filled environment at home.
Our homes should be filled with peace, joy, and love. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
“Spread peace and you will receive peace.”
(Musnad Ahmad)
The very fact that we are believers should make us feel at peace with ourselves and those around us. Even during the toughest times, we can make our living space a peace-filled sanctuary. If we are conveying peace, we will receive it back, and our homes and families will become mirrors of our own positive disposition, inshaAllah, God-willing.
Wendy Díaz is a Puerto Rican Muslim writer, award-winning poet, translator, and mother of six (ages ranging from infant to teen). She is the co-founder of Hablamos Islam, a non-profit organization that produces educational resources about Islam in Spanish (hablamosislam.org). She has written, illustrated, and published over a dozen children’s books and currently lives with her family in Maryland. Follow Wendy Díaz on social media @authorwendydiaz and @hablamosislam.
Add new comment