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Page url: http://www.soundvision.com/Info/marriage/conflict/counseling.asp
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Najma, Ottawa, Canada - wrote on 1/19/2005 12:56:05 PM
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Comment:This iarticle makes an excellent point that most conselling presents the divorce option as if it is a possible "happy solution", but that almost never is the case in reality because after the divorce you are sad anyway, moreover most often the couple individually repeats the same mistake with the next person if they remarry or they fix that problem in the next one which if they just did with the existing partner, they could have saved the marriage! What I disagree is the rosy picture on "muslim counsellors": Sr Shahina is a HUGE exception to the rule since most of them are even worse than the non-muslims more often as they put the onus of the psychological/emotional/family support on the woman as if she's some automaton : the man is given some blame only if he's violent or totally jobless. The reality is that if the wife is bearing the responsibilities that a man used to traditionally bear, then those "man's" rights shift to her too like qawwama which is qualified by "maintaining and protecting" the partner. Also they emphasize so much on the "mother's" (husband's mother!) importance, but mindless that it cannot violate the wife's rights or her staus of importance: bear in mind that Allah subhana wa ta'ala created a WIFE for Adam (AS) not a mother!!!!!
Dr. Reffai, Srilanka - wrote on 9/5/2004 10:04:53 AM
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Comment:this article does not give any solutions for those with problems.
Being a counsellor for the last 15 years the single fact that seems to help couples, is to tell them to shift their paradigm from the spouse to Allah. If individuals start living to please Allah the outlook in their lives change. This ofcourse means they have to know what pleases Allah which will lead themto study quran and sunna atleast in relation to marriage.
From then onwards the path is easy, both for the counsellow and theo couple, insha Allah.
patty, Birimingham, Alabama - wrote on 8/18/2004 4:33:09 PM
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Comment:ON married. My husband after 12 years wants to divorce me because I cant get pregnancy. And marry a nother, I understand how he can do that to me and he want me to work and help him support his other wife and that's not fair to me.
Taalib-ud-Din al-Ansare, Raytown, Missouri - wrote on 8/9/2004 9:19:51 PM
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Comment:Bismi llahir rahmanir rahiym.As salaamu alaykum.
Insha Allah, our community will turn to those who first base their counsel squarely on The Holy Qur'an and As-Sunnat ur Rasuli and competently use techniques and knowledge of contemporary psychotherapy; particularly the humanistic and transpersonal schools. In many ways counseling, psychotherapy and Islamic resources are not only compatible and conmplimentary, they have Islamic origins as also can be seen in the physical sciences. We can rediscover our roots and claim a viable space in clinical practice. My services as one of two Muslim supervisors in training in Clinical Pastoral Education in the US are available to fellow Imams via: alansare01@yahoo.com Wa salaamu.
Br. Taalib-ud-Din al-Ansare
bupinder, london - wrote on 1/30/2004 8:08:58 AM
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Comment:not enough detail where should one look to when in need of independent counselling from a muslim perspective..
Hope Full, Chicago - wrote on 1/29/2003 10:31:11 PM
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Comment:Interesting perspective.
Abu Samra, Boston - wrote on 12/20/2002 1:17:47 PM
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Comment:The article is not deep enough and doesn't offer extensive solutions.
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