Page url: http://www.soundvision.com/info/marriage/conflict/muslimdivorcesurvey2010.asp
Sal, Toronto - wrote on 8/5/2010 11:04:54 PM
Comment:What we need is websites like Islam QA/Soundvision/Seekers Guidance/SunniPath/ etc. offer anonymous online marital counseling services as people don't like to go to local imams or secular marital counselors.
Mohammad Ataullah, Toronto ON Canada - wrote on 8/1/2010 2:22:45 PM
Comment:Our mothers do not teach their girls how to be a a Musalma, women, behave, be a wife, raise a nation & ask their Husbands to earn Hallal. They feel no responsibility. Fathers do not teach their sons how to be a Muslim, man, behave, be a husband, head of house hold & responsibility to earn Hallal.
In fact Mohters, Masajid, Madrasas, Maulanas of hasajid do not teach much.
Since marriage is based or on selection of degree, wealth & physical beauty & none on quran, Ahadith, Piety & on being a good Muslim! Not on respect, caring & sharing. Women compete with men even in men's clothing & contribute on household feel they do not need anything from men except sex just like western culture hence disaster! Further they are not even threatened with no competition with 2-4 wives they dictate rather than man!
Anonymous, United States - wrote on 7/27/2010 2:20:18 PM
Comment:1. Maintain a list of professionally and Islamically trained counselors that can be immediately accessed when a couple is in the BEGINNING stages of a crisis. Cost will always be a factor so either providing Mosque funds to subsidize the effort AND/OR establishing insurance reimbursement programs with healthcare/Employee Assistance Programs (EAP).
2. STOP the Imams and community members that are NOT trained in impartial couples therapies from engaging in conflict resolution.
3. Do not perform Nikah ceremonies until and unless the couple individually and jointly participate in pre-marital counseling.
Julie Macfarlane, Windsor Ontario - wrote on 7/25/2010 12:01:35 PM
Comment:There are many comments regarding the causes of the conflict. Again, as some have pointed out, a single choice is not an accurate way of reflecting this there are usually multiple factors. I have just completed the analysis of my qualitative data on causes of conflict and divorce among the Muslim men and women (more than 100) I interviewed in depth about this. Many of the issues that people are raising in these comments came up. I would be happy to share a summary of the chapter for my forthcoming book (2011) that I have just written on the causes of conflict, perhaps on Sound Vision if appropriate. People could comment and this would advance the discussion still further I think.
saba, rockville - wrote on 7/23/2010 8:02:39 AM
Comment:A divorce are in good or bad situation. why men are raised to be lazy in the house and work hard in the office. that is wrong. Men complain to support kids and other problems. QURAN teaching one wife and one husband, men and women are even for everything and allow women complete thier college education and able to support thier families. people must change thier bad habit. Hadith teaching makes different something. Your research works good to clear up muslim social life around the world.
ayesha, chicago - wrote on 7/22/2010 9:33:45 PM
Comment:This survey/article is a great start. However more analysis with the data needs to be done. The survey is good, but simplistic. Marriages can fall apart for a number of reasons, this survey assumes there is only one factor at a time. I'd like to be able to see the raw data and run pivot tables to see the correlation between working women and marriages falling apart, or SAHM and irreconcilable differences. I'm also curious as to *how* spouses found each other as the research indicates a significant % of spouses were foreign-born.
Again, a great start. Keep the work forthcoming.
Rowther, sydney - wrote on 7/22/2010 6:32:06 PM
Comment:i work as a health researcher assessing drug and alcohol harms and policy. i will encourage the North American community to recognise divorce as a social harm - there are much ills and zero benefit to anyone. In Islamic spirituality, it is considered an ill. It is the biggest daily offensive by the shaytan. Often socially there isnt such an awareness in modern times.
what the above survey and findings show is the extent of the problem. what is required is further work to indentify measures to understand extent of different component issues within the big issue of divorce. this needs to be continually assessed to understand the degree of problem in community.
simultaneously what is required now is community action. this should not be action for the sake of action. rather it must be effective and appropriate which means it needs to be evaluated. it will be useful to look at examples in other Muslim communities around the world. using this evidence the North American Muslim community ought to lead modern Muslim communities in guidance on how to reduce the divorce problem by sharing community action policies that are proven to work.
Julie Macfarlane, Windsor Ontario - wrote on 7/22/2010 5:12:26 PM
Comment:As a researcher working on Islamic divorce for the last 4 years, I applaud your work - but I am disappointed that the question on how divorces were processed only appears to give respondents ONE choice - either a lawyer, a masgid, or "other". My study shows very clearly that Muslims who are legally married and who seek a religious divorce ALSO obtain a civil divorce - in other words, these are not alternatives but come together. This means it is hard to know what to make of the responses to this question. I was hoping that the survey might give a sense of how common resort to religious divorce is - but this question required people to choose, which is not what they are actually doing in practice. Does anyone have any thoughts on this, and the frequency of religious AS WELL AS a civil divorce?
Mohamad Haniff, Toronto - wrote on 7/22/2010 11:36:26 AM
Comment:I am a social work professor and retired social worker from direct practice. Would love to follow-up with authors of this study. Found deceit, maipulation, a lack of fear of Allah and some cultural arrogance (disguised as Islamic) as precipitating factors to marital instability. May Allah guide us to the straight path, Insha Allah.
Taoreed kolade Akanni, Lagos, Nigeria - wrote on 7/22/2010 11:35:12 AM
Comment:Financial inadequacy is the core problem of many divorces in modern times.Women are often impatient to bear it.
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