THE FIRST TIME I WANTED TO DO NAMAZ (THE IDENTITY CRISIS FADES FOR A MOMENT OR TWO)

The next day was Wednesday, and of course I went in for school. I had my Islamic Law class, and though I didn’t tell anyone, I wanted to sit and really pay attention. After talking pointlessly with Absal and Salman and of course the chance meeting with Khattab, we all prayed with Professor Murat. I thought the prayer would do something, would answer some questions, but nothing. I expected a change in spirit and all I got were some good bending exercises and dashed hopes.

I didn’t see Khattab in the afternoon. He was avoiding me without me noticing it (initially), so it wouldn’t look like we were friends. Or was he? This was so confusing. If I turned into an Islamist, I’d be killed quickly because I was so stupid.