1. Don't spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I'm only testing you.
2. Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it makes me feel secure.
3. Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
4. Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly "big".
5. Don't correct me in front of people if you can help it. I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.
6. Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.
7. Don't protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
8. Don't be too upset when I say "I hate you". Sometimes it isn't you I hate but your power to thwart me.
9. Don't take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need.
10. Don't nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
11. Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That is why I am not always accurate.
12. Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.
13. Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
14. Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.
15. Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.
16. Don't ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm towards you.
17. Don't forget I love experimenting. I couldn't get along without it, so please put up with it.
18. Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please do try.
19. Don't forget that I don't thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don't need to tell you, do I?
20. Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.
(Reprinted with permission from The Message International, June 1991, p. 40)
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Comments
MashAllah, JazakAllah khairun for your efforts to help parents learn parenting.
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Alhamduillah! That is nothing but th truth. I cried with joy....
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Allahu Akbar!This is such a great article mashaAllah walhamdulillah!Sr Amina
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SalamI don't think I have the perfect parent-child relationship kids should have with their parents, therefore, I can relate to everything mentioned.
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Its very ture.All parents should try to understand their children.
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very true that all the child feel like this
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i felt so happy reading it,because every word is so true. We dont make the effort to spend a little time to try and think about our childrens feelings and thoughts.
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Beautifully stated and well written. Something every parent should read.
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MashAllah excellent article.. Well said.
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perhaps you might add the value of positive reinforcement and expain the impact of "negative" reinforcement" When a child expresses anxiety then do not validate the anxiety but instead acknowledg that you understand :that this is worrying the child and repeat and rephrase it till he /she feels assured.
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